[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

ZeVagitarian

Search for a member

ZeVagitarian
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 142
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

ZeVagitarian's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ZeVagitarian's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

#4440172 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (39428) - you deserved it (5419)

On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

#4070299 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (43541) - you deserved it (10412)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

#3192725 (314)

I agree, your life sucks (66507) - you deserved it (9151)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I adopted a dog from the local shelter. I put the dog in the car and he was shedding everywhere, but I was ok with that because he was my dog. As I pulled into the parking lot, the dog began to poop in the backseat of my car. When I got him out of the car, he ran off. $100 for him to poop and run away. FML

#2097800 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (33653) - you deserved it (6640)

On 05/19/2009 at 10:17pm - animals - by Debra2005 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

#1980136 (407)

I agree, your life sucks (48360) - you deserved it (37871)

On 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by madzlovesgee (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a Taylor Swift concert. At the concert they put up a sign that said "Scream if you love country boys." My boyfriend took one look at it and started screaming. FML

#1971558 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (43406) - you deserved it (7693)

On 05/16/2009 at 3:52am - love - by TayTay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in a public bathroom, and a little boy walks in and he has an accident. He asked if I could help him clean it up. So I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and I slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML

#1968921 (59)

I agree, your life sucks (36706) - you deserved it (4243)

On 05/15/2009 at 5:22pm - kids - by Dinho (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend was sick so I took her 5 year old daughter out to eat. Half-way through our "date" she asks me loudly "Can we go back to the car now and take our clothes off?" Apparently she meant her toy dog's clothes. Face burning, we left a half laughing/half glaring crowd behind. FML

#1962553 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (34432) - you deserved it (1785)

On 05/15/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by BigBadTron (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, at work, some little girl went in the bathroom for quite a while. Came out for two minutes and went back in. She then came out with her finger clutched in a paper towel. One of the other coworkers went in to check the bathroom. The little girl wrote "Hi!" with her own poop. FML

#1957441 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (33434) - you deserved it (1486)

On 05/15/2009 at 3:20am - work - by RunningMurphy (man) - United States (Minnesota)