Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Zaros

Search for a member

Zaros
  • Town/Country : Galena, IL
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1353
  • Number of comments : 150
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About Zaros : I was brutally attacked by my razor. Currently in the process of regrowing my mutton chops.

If you want my snapchat or Facebook feel free to ask so I can tell you no personally.

Zaros's last visitors

alljackedup7HeyTherexxxmichaelf461meowimmakatFezzesAreCoolactuallyahippoironfeyhockeyprincess91AutumnMasqueradedawsonstarredraven88

Zaros's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of Zaros's badges

Zaros's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML

#19783126
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22981) - you deserved it (14721)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I wore my new Brazilian thong bikini to the pool for the first time. I was lying face down feeling so sexy, until flies started buzzing my butt. FML

#19344343
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7315) - you deserved it (28367)

On 03/25/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by BookBabe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that when my girlfriend said she gave up sex for lent, it was just with me and not my brother. FML

#19343817
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35942) - you deserved it (2342)

On 03/25/2012 at 9:11am - intimacy - by ohno - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I started my research project on horror stories and people's fascination with them. I did some research and wound up reading H.P. Lovecraft. On the upside, I can now pee more easily. On the downside, it's likely to be in my pants. FML

#19340135
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13225) - you deserved it (3482)

On 03/24/2012 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML

#19331410
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19128) - you deserved it (1532)

On 03/23/2012 at 5:44am - work - by ANNIEDBD - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

#17911621
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20465) - you deserved it (15236)

On 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Beeisc00l - Reserved

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

#17448380
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24776) - you deserved it (2452)

On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML

#17388195
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20099) - you deserved it (5220)

On 08/06/2011 at 3:10pm - misc - by lostforwords (woman) - Ireland (Tipperary)

Today, I learned the hard way that yes, a fork can get stuck in your braces. FML

#16601397
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25428) - you deserved it (14320)

On 06/10/2011 at 9:32pm - health - by 8sq (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16030) - you deserved it (34308)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, I got into a wreck thanks to a big flashing sign on the highway that said "Keep your eyes on the road" that distracted me. FML

#15445507
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27199) - you deserved it (14638)

On 03/23/2011 at 7:25am - misc - by cupcakelady127 (woman) - United States

Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML

#14991299
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28147) - you deserved it (2826)

On 02/15/2011 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by bitchasaurusrex (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML

#14169295
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26076) - you deserved it (7205)

On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

#12978436
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6680) - you deserved it (28489)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

#12143188
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32509) - you deserved it (14726)

On 07/27/2010 at 10:43am - intimacy - by lonelyguy321 - United Kingdom (Birmingham)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: