Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ZaroraQuinsey

Search for a member

ZaroraQuinsey
  • Town/Country : no, Norway
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 October 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 419
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ZaroraQuinsey : I'm not what you call a special snowflake.

ZaroraQuinsey's last visitors

cskipgolfer2013ayazdgradeTrackGirl19graceinsheepwear

ZaroraQuinsey's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of ZaroraQuinsey's badges

ZaroraQuinsey's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a card from the jewelry store thanking me for purchasing an engagement ring a year ago and wishing me and my fiancée a long and everlasting marriage. Too bad my fiancée took off with the pizza delivery boy 6 months ago. FML

#6325970
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29560) - you deserved it (1785)

On 11/16/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by figures (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I invited my girlfriend to come over, telling her I had a surprise. I filled the bathtub and lit a lot of candles to be romantic. She gets here, and we start doing our thing. Until we smell something burning. It was my hair. I now have a bald spot on the back of my head. FML

#6111658
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12612) - you deserved it (23899)

On 11/01/2009 at 10:44pm - love - by CandlesSuck - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28881) - you deserved it (7981)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for my 2 year anniversary, I bought my girlfriend a beautiful $400 necklace. She bought me a pink $5 shirt of Elton John riding a piano through space. FML

#5911191
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32832) - you deserved it (6321)

On 10/20/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by lame (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was teaching a woodshop class. We were using power tools, including drills, and pieces of pine wood. While helping a kid to hold a piece to practice drilling, he went too far forward with the drill. It went through my hand. FML

#5697763
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40597) - you deserved it (8311)

On 10/07/2009 at 3:05am - work - by screwed (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned that if you're going to tell your mother you are gay, make sure she isn't holding a frying pan filled with hot grease. FML

#5530332
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54293) - you deserved it (12777)

On 09/28/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got my period. 10 minutes into a 3 hour exam. Apparently they are serious when they say you may not leave the room under any circumstances. FML

#5310287
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49791) - you deserved it (3252)

On 09/17/2009 at 9:59am - health - by cramps (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML

#5289656
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9408) - you deserved it (64274)

On 09/16/2009 at 9:24am - animals - by nipped (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML

#5228952
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36927) - you deserved it (3830)

On 09/13/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML

#5187639
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44738) - you deserved it (2307)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML

#4950389
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37170) - you deserved it (8704)

On 08/31/2009 at 9:54am - love - by crawfo (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my five year old daughter told me that while I'm at work, daddy has his wrestling buddy Melinda over. She also said that they wrestle on the bed so that they won't get hurt. FML

#4867119
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68384) - you deserved it (2462)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by abercrombieef (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was complaining of a scorpion sting on his leg. I told him to stop whining and get over it. Later, as I went to sleep, I felt a sharp pain in my arm. As I flipped on the light, I saw a scorpion crawling over the blankets. Now my entire arm is numb and I can't stop crying. FML

#4438831
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8261) - you deserved it (89740)

On 08/10/2009 at 11:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out why my boyfriend gets so upset when I make jokes about him and his best guy friend being lovers. It's because they are. FML

#4426507
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61336) - you deserved it (8160)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I rescheduled my doctor's appointment for a tetanus shot to go camping with my friends. While running on a path at the camp site, I stepped on a rusty nail that went right through my shoe and into my foot. Maybe I should have kept my appointment. FML

#4363957
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28299) - you deserved it (20487)

On 08/07/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by terpity12 - United States (Rhode Island)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: