Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ZaroraQuinsey

Search for a member

ZaroraQuinsey

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 October 1997 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 581
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ZaroraQuinsey : oh well

ZaroraQuinsey's page activity

Visits<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 10:37am<b>Maiko_rayquaza</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 5:19pm<b>Miizuo</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 1:30pm<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 11:59am<b>ayazdgrade</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 7:55am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 6:02pm<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 3:28pm

ZaroraQuinsey's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of ZaroraQuinsey's badges

ZaroraQuinsey's favorite FMLs

Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML

#20431269
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44189) - you deserved it (3440)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:29am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

#20418714
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45567) - you deserved it (25094)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my friend was complaining to me about her problems. I tried to be a good, understanding friend, listening and giving advice. When it was my turn to vent, she interrupted me, saying, "Sorry, but I don't really care." FML

#20201674
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27776) - you deserved it (2197)

On 12/12/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by sushichick (woman) - United States

Today, after a romantic dinner, movie, and stroll in the park, we had our first kiss. It would have been perfect, had a passerby not thrown rubbish at us for "unnecessary public display of affection." FML

#20194899
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21734) - you deserved it (2915)

On 12/07/2012 at 7:39am - love - by First Kiss - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML

#20193405
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32812) - you deserved it (3666)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:18am - animals - by psd60 - United States (Texas)

Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I had to help a teenage boy learn how to float. This involves supporting the person's back as they try to float. His boner stood straight up. FML

#20185787
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36076) - you deserved it (3384)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by julia (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

#20164794
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23808) - you deserved it (2767)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by needanewride - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24649) - you deserved it (1774)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

#20135671
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8991) - you deserved it (32749)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I went bowling. I noticed a 10-year-old holding an iPod Touch which had the exact same customized case with my name on it as my iPod that was stolen a year ago at the same bowling centre. Even better, the parents yelled at me for accusing him. I got kicked out the bowling centre. FML

Today, I learned that despite having told them two years ago, my parents still aren't accepting of me being gay. I found this out when my mom called and asked if I was "cured" yet. FML

#20131666
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25374) - you deserved it (4779)

On 10/24/2012 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24888) - you deserved it (6498)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

#20072555
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24769) - you deserved it (2540)

On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23904) - you deserved it (2779)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my daughter proudly showed me her new tattoo sleeve, which is made up of an angry cupcake, hemp leaves, and a My Little Pony character. She's almost 30, still unemployed, and still lives in my home. I now have no hope of her ever becoming a productive member of society. FML

#19987541
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24367) - you deserved it (7237)

On 07/27/2012 at 3:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Ostfold)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: