Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 790
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Zanethepain : I am pretty funny and a thrillseeker.I take things to new hieghts,but I can get wierd sometimes.My main email is I know but dont blame I created it when I was 8!) in case you cant reach me on this account.I post fml's usually daily and I can relate to personal stuff. I hope u read this all!

Zanethepain's page activity

Visits<b>chrisiffer</b> - the 07/19/2012 at 11:19am<b>cr1mson_k1ss</b> - the 05/17/2012 at 3:30pm

Zanethepain's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of Zanethepain's badges

Zanethepain's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48962) - you deserved it (8557)

On 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by ThisBlows (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50592) - you deserved it (9714)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was getting off the bus, when these two guys behind me started commenting on my bag, oblivious to the fact that I could hear them say, "Look at his ugly man-purse," and "It that looks like the satchel that Indiana Jones has". I'm a girl. Who is planning majoring in fashion studies. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26936) - you deserved it (8590)

On 01/16/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by Indiana (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was driving my child to school when the car let out a huge bang. It shuddered to a halt. My son started laughing. I asked him what was funny but he wouldn't tell me. The car wouldn't start. I called RACV and they told me the problem. My son had rolled 9 golf balls into the exhaust pipe. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35742) - you deserved it (3742)

On 11/01/2009 at 1:44am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving home. She took a couple swings at me, which I dodged. Feeling pretty good about it, I tried to get the keys from her hand. She leaned over, and sunk her teeth in to my bare shoulder. The doctor says I will have a scar. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49876) - you deserved it (4919)

On 07/01/2009 at 5:46pm - misc - by Pelota (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML


I agree, your life sucks (92303) - you deserved it (241071)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (66873) - you deserved it (667295)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (255702) - you deserved it (87424)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML Pics : The top 4 pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the…

Tuesday 24 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: