About Zanethepain : I am pretty funny and a thrillseeker.I take things to new hieghts,but I can get wierd sometimes.My main email is bluedragon470@hotmail.com(childish I know but dont blame I created it when I was 8!) in case you cant reach me on this account.I post fml's usually daily and I can relate to personal stuff. I hope u read this all!
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Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38651) - you deserved it (7358)
On 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by ThisBlows (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40027) - you deserved it (7603)
On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was getting off the bus, when these two guys behind me started commenting on my bag, oblivious to the fact that I could hear them say, "Look at his ugly man-purse," and "It that looks like the satchel that Indiana Jones has". I'm a girl. Who is planning majoring in fashion studies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18024) - you deserved it (6141)
On 01/16/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by Indiana (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was driving my child to school when the car let out a huge bang. It shuddered to a halt. My son started laughing. I asked him what was funny but he wouldn't tell me. The car wouldn't start. I called RACV and they told me the problem. My son had rolled 9 golf balls into the exhaust pipe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25707) - you deserved it (2619)
On 11/01/2009 at 1:44am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving home. She took a couple swings at me, which I dodged. Feeling pretty good about it, I tried to get the keys from her hand. She leaned over, and sunk her teeth in to my bare shoulder. The doctor says I will have a scar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40072) - you deserved it (3519)
On 07/01/2009 at 5:46pm - misc - by Pelota (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (177212) - you deserved it (25377)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38721) - you deserved it (569536)
On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65830) - you deserved it (162722)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42552) - you deserved it (484743)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (306716) - you deserved it (40898)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (177478) - you deserved it (61370)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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