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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 July 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2069
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Zambaku's page activity

Visits<b>chocomilkshake</b> - the 12/17/2011 at 11:33am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:13pm<b>AKSpray</b> - the 08/09/2011 at 10:36pm

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Zambaku's favorite FMLs

Today, my 3 year old son's tricycle was stolen. I looked up the street and saw a neighbour's kid riding it. I marched up, gently lifted him off it, gave him a stern lecture about stealing and brought the tricycle back home. The cops then showed up. Apparently, the kid has an identical tricycle. FML

by ollie179 / 08/15/2011 at 3:14pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Kids

Today, I started my job as an assistant to a beekeeper. I forgot to put gloves on, and got stung like crazy. My hands swelled up to the size of baseball gloves. Turns out, I'm allergic to bees. FML

by rr / 08/15/2011 at 11:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML

by Michelle / 08/15/2011 at 4:15am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find a window broken and my neighbours searching inside my house. Apparently, they'd heard a small child asking for help inside my house. I recently taught my dog to "talk." FML

by Mumbling Mutt101 / 08/15/2011 at 2:23am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

Today, I came home from holiday, only to find my house full of small decomposing animals, courtesy of my cat. FML

by Ellencrazee / 08/13/2011 at 6:22am / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Animals

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

by brittbrat4 / 08/13/2011 at 2:51am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

by bTOhno / 08/13/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2011 at 6:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank the whole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" for his wife. He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally for his "whiskey dick". FML

by OyGeeze28 / 08/09/2011 at 2:24am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my dad shaved his head. This wouldn't be so bad if he didn't expect me to address him as "Captain Picard" 24/7 now. He won't answer me otherwise. FML

by MissArizona / 08/08/2011 at 10:12am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking along a crowded pier when I stopped to read a sign next to an oddly placed bush. Not even two seconds later, a man popped out of the bush and made me wet myself. People were filming it. FML

by Polmkk / 08/07/2011 at 7:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, in one fell swoop, my testicles and spirits were simultaneously crushed into submission by the girl I like. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 5:34pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML

by moonstone15 / 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML

by cadillacfrank / 07/24/2011 at 5:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

by Username / 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous