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Zambaku

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Zambaku
  • Town/Country : Phoenix, United States of America
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 July 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1067
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Zambaku's favorite FMLs

Today, I checked the camera I set up to find out who has been stealing my prescription painkillers: my wife, my daughter or my son. Turns out they all are. FML

#17672828
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27553) - you deserved it (2567)

On 09/05/2011 at 5:37pm - health - by oxymorons - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML

#17671695
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23605) - you deserved it (9021)

On 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm - animals - by anonomys (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, during our wedding, my wife tried to dodge The Kiss. FML

#17525336
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47991) - you deserved it (3452)

On 08/20/2011 at 12:41am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had to utter the phrase "OK, but no cape during sex" to my girlfriend. FML

Today, I discovered that my new college roommate not only makes casual conversation about his bowel movements, he also names them. FML

#17512711
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19320) - you deserved it (1730)

On 08/18/2011 at 7:44pm - misc - by Bill - United States

Today, my husband bought me a cinnamon roll because my blood sugar was dangerously low. My first bite was easily the most delicious thing I'd eaten since getting pregnant. As I sat in frosting coated ecstasy, my husband snatched up the rest of the pastry and finished it himself. FML

#17511750
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25846) - you deserved it (3731)

On 08/18/2011 at 5:41pm - health - by AmySweet - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. I called AAA, and they said it would take 2 hours to get there. They called 2 hours later saying they got a flat tire and would be there in another 2 hours. FML

#17499857
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35501) - you deserved it (2708)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I counted the amount of stuff that my dad had bought within a week: a brand new boat, car, and truck. He also has countless gadgets at his office, including a 60" television. Our house is literally falling apart but Mr. Midlife-crisis won't do anything to help. FML

#17498014
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26469) - you deserved it (2248)

On 08/17/2011 at 5:50am - money - by phonemenace (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML

#17497586
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22129) - you deserved it (10493)

On 08/17/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by aprilfools22 - United States (California)

Today, I was caught and fined for picking a lock. I have OCD. I was picking the padlock on a toilet paper holder in a public toilet because the roll was the wrong way round. FML

#17487298
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28120) - you deserved it (11236)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by Anon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

#17487267
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30970) - you deserved it (2679)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mom showed up completely hammered to a party I was throwing. The party was to celebrate the ten years that I've been sober. FML

#17486446
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28171) - you deserved it (2267)

On 08/16/2011 at 12:54am - health - by Jillian Drute - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31699) - you deserved it (2552)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, my mom threw out years worth of trophies that I'd put tons of effort into earning. Her reason? They all looked the same to her. FML

#17483067
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24708) - you deserved it (1907)

On 08/15/2011 at 7:09pm - misc - by Facepalm (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a really bad sunburn on my face while at the lake. Not to worry, though; my friends made me feel better by saying, "It takes the attention away from your acne." FML

#17482360
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24927) - you deserved it (3339)

On 08/15/2011 at 5:38pm - health - by Username - United States



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