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Zach2014

Offline (the 02/17/2015 at 9:28am) | Search for a member

Zach2014

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 566
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Zach2014's page activity

Visits<b>ragingwaffle</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 9:13pm<b>valerie_273</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 7:02am<b>sallybookers</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 12:04am<b>savannah65</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 10:52pm<b>laurajbm</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 12:18am<b>k_gils</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 6:55pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 1:59am<b>soccerniko50</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 8:21pm<b>rach0545</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 10:06pm<b>caseystick18</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 9:31pm<b>BabyWickedOneXoX</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 9:32am<b>deathseeker16758</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 4:21am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 3:39am<b>house51</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 12:07am<b>spiers1</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 12:05am<b>gmian</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 11:20pm<b>sadiegirl17</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 11:12pm<b>dre82</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 11:07pm

Zach2014's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Zach2014's badges

Zach2014's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML

#21290234
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33626) - you deserved it (3148)

On 11/02/2014 at 1:30am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

#21270163
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46496) - you deserved it (4353)

On 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by oncehipjr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our six-month anniversary. And by that, I mean he brought along his obnoxious best friend, and I paid for everyone's dinner at an expensive restaurant. FML

#21262754
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35171) - you deserved it (7276)

On 09/21/2014 at 10:11pm - love - by thnxbabe -

Today, I'm at that age where sitting down carries a 50/50 chance of turning my balls into scrambled eggs, a fact confirmed yet again today. Third time this week. I think it's time to switch to briefs. FML

#21259403
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28982) - you deserved it (4292)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:20pm - health - by I need a new ballsack. (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was working at the daycare. As I left with my boyfriend, a kid came up to us and said that my boyfriend could do way better. FML

#21251155
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39213) - you deserved it (3774)

On 09/03/2014 at 1:40pm - kids - by unlucky - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65524) - you deserved it (8425)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

#21199096
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53403) - you deserved it (11080)

On 07/05/2014 at 12:26am - intimacy - by bad in the sack - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. When I stood up, I noticed a little button on the side. I pressed it and the toilet flushed. I've worked there for nine months and just found out today that our toilets don't flush automatically. FML

#21177356
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26009) - you deserved it (45996)

On 06/16/2014 at 10:45pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50428) - you deserved it (12977)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

#21092834
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42257) - you deserved it (3381)

On 03/21/2014 at 5:44pm - health - by iusedprotectionanyway (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

#21084464
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41176) - you deserved it (5902)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

#21055858
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48902) - you deserved it (15855) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by vegas-81 - France

Today, I told my professor that I'll be missing class next week due to upcoming surgery. I asked if I could take the exam that I'd otherwise miss another day. He said no, and that I'd just have to take a failing grade, then wished me luck with the surgery. FML

#21053454
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52897) - you deserved it (3934)

On 02/07/2014 at 3:30pm - health - by ... - United States (Illinois)

Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cock blocked me. FML

#21045897
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52516) - you deserved it (7748)

On 01/31/2014 at 1:16am - intimacy - by CatBlock (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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