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ZSkeen

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ZSkeen

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  • Number of visits : 503
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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ZSkeen's page activity

Visits<b>Zombiekilla3229</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 10:43am<b>yourmurderscenex</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 10:09pm

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ZSkeen's favorite FMLs

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML

#21127339
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39476) - you deserved it (4975)

On 04/30/2014 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

#21080573
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43497) - you deserved it (22867)

On 03/07/2014 at 2:47pm - intimacy - by onepussytwopussy (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

#21077048
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62633) - you deserved it (8503)

On 03/03/2014 at 5:35pm - intimacy - by fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46342) - you deserved it (6549)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31548) - you deserved it (47641)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47135) - you deserved it (17095)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

#21048300
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40907) - you deserved it (10306)

On 02/02/2014 at 4:50pm - animals - by foops (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my sister what she thought of my boyfriend. She said, "He's nice. Deserves better than you, really." FML

#21048143
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42452) - you deserved it (5756)

On 02/02/2014 at 1:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, for our anniversary, I sang my boyfriend a heartfelt, self-written song. The first thing he said when I finished was "Your fly is open." FML

#21046895
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40311) - you deserved it (5797)

On 02/01/2014 at 3:11am - love - by zippersaremoreimportantthansentiments (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

#21037332
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37271) - you deserved it (4686)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I came home from the army and explained to my family how tough it was there. Then, as I was walking away, I stubbed my toe on the couch, fell and cried. FML

#21036979
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42729) - you deserved it (14660)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:53am - misc - by MarBlu - United States

Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML

#21034014
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45386) - you deserved it (30772)

On 01/20/2014 at 3:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55963) - you deserved it (8997)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

#21031998
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34814) - you deserved it (56719)

On 01/18/2014 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49363) - you deserved it (9288)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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