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Offline (the 11/29/2014 at 10:00pm)



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  • Number of visits : 3187
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Z97's page activity

Visits<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 3:21am

Z97's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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Z97's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML

by BlueBirdWings / 03/06/2012 at 2:20am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on in a water park changing stall. A woman and a security guard barged in and angrily told us that there were children around. We were escorted out of the park wearing nothing but our swimsuits. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2012 at 3:35pm / Intimacy

Today, I got more turned on by the idea of sex with my boyfriend than actually doing it. FML

by LittleRed / 03/05/2012 at 3:45am / United States / Intimacy

Today, things were getting heated with my boyfriend and I told him that I was finally ready to lose my virginity. Clearly he couldn't wait to get started because he fell asleep. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2012 at 2:07am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML

by Autocorrected / 03/04/2012 at 12:02am / Philippines (Bulacan) / Love

Today, my family made a fake boyfriend for me on Facebook, since it's been so long since I had one. I accepted the relationship request to try and trick people into thinking I actually had a boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 03/02/2012 at 12:35am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I wondered if my orgasms are worth the bother, seeing as I get horrible "I feel like I'm dying" cramps every time I climax. FML

by imawesome / 03/01/2012 at 10:54pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture. In the mirror I could see a bra and thong sitting on his bed. They weren't mine. FML

by eeelise5296 / 03/01/2012 at 3:39pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend to marry me, because it's a leap year. He is now avoiding me for fear that I was serious. FML

by CptZoe / 02/29/2012 at 1:10pm / United Kingdom (Rotherham) / Love

Today, I got extremely wasted and decided to take a shower with my boyfriend. What seemed like a good and sexy idea turned into us falling and getting wedged in the bathtub. FML

by cfaul001 / 02/29/2012 at 12:41pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

by Anonymous / 02/29/2012 at 5:07am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML

by mandygeegoesnom / 02/29/2012 at 12:30am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

by Susan / 02/28/2012 at 6:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was having sex with my husband. We thought the house was empty so we didn't mind being loud. Apparently, my grandma thought it would be fun to give us a surprise visit. All I found was a note on the counter from her and the spare key saying "Next time, I'll call." FML

by . / 02/26/2012 at 7:02pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a picture of my creepy uncle and me on Facebook, which he had captioned "me and my woman," and posted several lewd comments on. I guess he forgot I'm his friend on Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2012 at 4:19pm / Virgin Islands British / Miscellaneous