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Z97

Offline (the 08/28/2014 at 5:04am) | Search for a member

Z97

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  • Number of visits : 2157
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Z97's page activity

Visits<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 3:21am

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Z97's favorite FMLs

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

#19388939
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22112) - you deserved it (9312)

On 04/01/2012 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML

#19345098
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14395) - you deserved it (25210)

On 03/25/2012 at 2:04pm - health - by analeis (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

#19336672
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27751) - you deserved it (10483)

On 03/24/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by purple - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

#19336672
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27751) - you deserved it (10483)

On 03/24/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by purple - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, and ended up sitting next to this girl who wouldn't stop sneezing. Grossed out, I asked my boyfriend if we could switch seats. After doing so, the girl immediately stopped sneezing and started flirting with him. FML

#19331196
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29874) - you deserved it (5206)

On 03/23/2012 at 3:39am - love - by Hana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

#19330918
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47127) - you deserved it (4590)

On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

#19289453
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21553) - you deserved it (11869)

On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28891) - you deserved it (18081)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

#19255616
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30739) - you deserved it (2916)

On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)

Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML

#19253868
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9989) - you deserved it (145241)

On 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm - misc - by Major3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML

#19250410
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35734) - you deserved it (5268)

On 03/10/2012 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
593 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23165) - you deserved it (52929)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the dorm showers to use the facilities. As I was getting in the shower, I slipped and landed face first into a puddle. It wasn't water. FML

Today, my girlfriend was complaining of being stressed, so I mentioned having heard that sex relieves a lot of that build up of stress. She replied, "I think I'd rather stay stressed." FML

#19232651
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27496) - you deserved it (7113)

On 03/07/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by RZ (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML

#19231360
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25839) - you deserved it (6105)

On 03/07/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Sharibabi65 (woman) - United States



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

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