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Z97

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Z97

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  • Number of visits : 2204
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Z97's page activity

Visits<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 3:21am

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Z97's favorite FMLs

Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML

#19608158
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22927) - you deserved it (6018)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by rongo12 (man) -

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

#19598772
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11129) - you deserved it (36380)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by polimeros (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)

Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse was the lady I had a one night stand with 3 nights ago, and yes she remembered me. FML

#19584401
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13282) - you deserved it (169540)

On 05/06/2012 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by T3STI (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30381) - you deserved it (3541)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML

#19568325
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41070) - you deserved it (2551)

On 05/03/2012 at 1:00pm - love - by Turnipseed3 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML

#19558140
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30470) - you deserved it (3397)

On 05/01/2012 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by rolyat (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend yet again unsuccessfully tried to hold in uncontrollable giggling every time I moaned or sighed during sex. He's 24. I'm terrified of his reaction should I ever reach an orgasm with him. FML

#19557308
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26042) - you deserved it (2900)

On 05/01/2012 at 7:02am - intimacy - by epicsquishii (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

#19486028
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37545) - you deserved it (3532)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

#19484170
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26865) - you deserved it (3843)

On 04/17/2012 at 2:13pm - intimacy - by blocked_by_fire (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML

#19464902
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22970) - you deserved it (2653)

On 04/14/2012 at 2:27am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend saw the name "Melissa" on my phone's contact list. After refusing to tell her who it was, she accused me of being a cheater, broke up with me and stormed out of my house. Melissa is the name of a woman from Craigslist who was going to sell me an antique engagement ring. FML

#19459497
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37887) - you deserved it (7783)

On 04/13/2012 at 1:09am - love - by rejected - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

#19443097
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36140) - you deserved it (2787)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML

#19426684
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44436) - you deserved it (3086)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:19pm - love - by jordyn173 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, things were getting heated between me and the guy I like, and we were about to have sex. I told him to turn the TV off so we can get started. His response? "But I like this show." FML

#19421733
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25479) - you deserved it (5299)

On 04/07/2012 at 3:04am - intimacy - by Judy69 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed. She slipped her hand under the duvet, and I got all excited thinking she was going to give me a hand job. She was actually pulling out her wedgie. FML

#19416403
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21056) - you deserved it (9068)

On 04/06/2012 at 7:10am - intimacy - by TJ - United Kingdom (Surrey)



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