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Z97

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Z97

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  • Number of visits : 2131
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Z97's page activity

Visits<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 3:21am

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Z97's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a text message on my husband's phone from a "Candice", asking him if he and his wife are still separated, followed by an invitation to spend the night. I never knew we were separated in the first place. FML

#19732983
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37201) - you deserved it (2164)

On 06/04/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to break up with her. It was a hard decision and both of us became quite emotionally overwhelmed at the time. We began to hug as a final goodbye, then her mum burst in the room and yelled, "HE FINALLY PROPOSED!" FML

#19725965
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36442) - you deserved it (3366)

On 06/03/2012 at 10:21am - love - by Matt - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at a wedding. After videotaping the ceremony for a few minutes, my memory was full. I went to delete another video. I accidentally played the loudest video I had. No one was looking at the bride or groom anymore. FML

#19722666
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18292) - you deserved it (8358)

On 06/02/2012 at 7:28pm - misc - by dream1334 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, on the bright side, my boobs grew a size. Unfortunately, this was only after bed bugs decided to attack my nipples. FML

#19722662
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24314) - you deserved it (2697)

On 06/02/2012 at 7:25pm - health - by must.not.itch. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment to soak up some sunlight, and then spent the next hour too scared to go make my morning coffee, after my mother loudly moaned, "Ah yeah, give it to me, Woody!" from down the hall. FML

#19721854
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27155) - you deserved it (2150)

On 06/02/2012 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by huh (woman) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML

#19704356
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20055) - you deserved it (2011)

On 05/30/2012 at 12:45pm - kids - by unzucht (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

#19703392
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34981) - you deserved it (8640)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

#19702897
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30605) - you deserved it (7417)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I spilled my guts to my girlfriend, saying I'm scared that all I do is upset her. I then had to sit through a speech about how upset she was that I hadn't told her sooner. FML

#19699058
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20686) - you deserved it (4228)

On 05/29/2012 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Flevoland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

#19688308
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23127) - you deserved it (14721)

On 05/27/2012 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by oh lord - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were acting out a kinky scenario at home, where we'd met in a club and were having a one night stand. We ended up getting into a real argument about an imaginary girl in the club. I didn't have sex and we haven't spoken since. FML

#19687901
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10971) - you deserved it (30914)

On 05/27/2012 at 10:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I started my third day of a student exchange program in Belgium. My room-mate is a guy, our beds are in the same room, and he's always in and out of the bathroom. Consequently, I don't have nearly enough privacy to choke the cock, if you know what I mean. FML

#19679809
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8186) - you deserved it (24901)

On 05/25/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by MySummerinEurope (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

#19663287
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33613) - you deserved it (3946)

On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML

#19618137
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8139) - you deserved it (30572)

On 05/13/2012 at 6:30pm - misc - by smh (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

#19608230
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29083) - you deserved it (9314)

On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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