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Z97

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Z97

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  • Number of visits : 2105
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Z97's page activity

Visits<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 3:21am

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Z97's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He decided he would be a gentleman and do this to me at work, over text, during a rush of unsympathetic customers, the day before our anniversary. FML

#19843298
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30600) - you deserved it (2304)

On 06/25/2012 at 3:00am - love - by waaah (woman) - Australia

Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said "Yeah, yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML

#19841919
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21277) - you deserved it (5294)

On 06/24/2012 at 11:03pm - love - by Richard (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

#19822088
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27734) - you deserved it (4246)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by really (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML

#19818500
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24231) - you deserved it (3181)

On 06/20/2012 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

#19810073
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42740) - you deserved it (3914)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

#19788440
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49610) - you deserved it (3358)

On 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by aranya (man) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, all my guy friends kept hugging me tightly and then softly and then tightly again. I later found out they just wanted to feel my boobs on their chests. FML

#19787758
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29127) - you deserved it (7817)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by a chick in California - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

#19763294
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30876) - you deserved it (4897)

On 06/10/2012 at 12:13am - intimacy - by rachiej8 - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML

#19758301
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15016) - you deserved it (40707)

On 06/09/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML

#19757535
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21493) - you deserved it (8992)

On 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML

#19749862
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33955) - you deserved it (5793)

On 06/07/2012 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML

#19747486
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23144) - you deserved it (4389)

On 06/07/2012 at 12:02am - intimacy - by C0r1nn3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was on stage dancing for a competition dress rehearsal, my top fell off, exposing my breasts. I was really embarrassed, but fortunately no one said anything about it. That is until a kid in the audience came up to me and said, "That was a disappointment." FML

#19737125
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22679) - you deserved it (2555)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:27am - misc - by KenzFell (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend. There's a short cut to my house by jumping a fence but he insisted that we take the long way because, "Girls don't jump fences." To prove him wrong, I jumped the fence. I fell and broke my leg. FML

#19736347
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14076) - you deserved it (31012)

On 06/05/2012 at 12:27am - love - by Josie - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a restaurant in front of a lot of people. Once I said yes, some guy yelled out, "SEX. SEX. SEX." My boyfriend yelled back, "LATER!" FML

#19734660
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28636) - you deserved it (6018)

On 06/04/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by BooBabe (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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