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Z97's FML badges
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200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
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Z97's favorite FMLs
by waaah / 06/25/2012 at 3:00am / Australia / Love
Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said "Yeah, yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML
by Richard / 06/24/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by really / 06/21/2012 at 1:30am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML
by Anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 12:41pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML
by aranya / 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Intimacy
by a chick in California / 06/14/2012 at 4:10pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
by rachiej8 / 06/10/2012 at 12:13am / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/09/2012 at 12:51am / United States (Mississippi) / Love
Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2012 at 1:41pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by C0r1nn3 / 06/07/2012 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while I was on stage dancing for a competition dress rehearsal, my top fell off, exposing my breasts. I was really embarrassed, but fortunately no one said anything about it. That is until a kid in the audience came up to me and said, "That was a disappointment." FML
by KenzFell / 06/05/2012 at 3:27am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend. There's a short cut to my house by jumping a fence but he insisted that we take the long way because, "Girls don't jump fences." To prove him wrong, I jumped the fence. I fell and broke my leg. FML
by Josie / 06/05/2012 at 12:27am / United States (Kentucky) / Love
by BooBabe / 06/04/2012 at 7:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana…