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Z97

Offline (the 08/28/2014 at 5:04am) | Search for a member

Z97

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Z97's page activity

Visits<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 3:21am

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Z97's favorite FMLs

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

#19156948
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10052) - you deserved it (54428)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my girlfriend of two years that I love her. She replied, "Um, I don't mean to be rude, but can you just shut up?" FML

#19156004
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30537) - you deserved it (3298)

On 02/24/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by music man (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

#19146778
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13802) - you deserved it (32407)

On 02/23/2012 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML

#19139199
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30297) - you deserved it (4011)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up next to my boyfriend of two years. I realized I was going to be late for work, so I asked him to hand me my underwear. I had never seen the underwear he gave me before. FML

#19139021
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36849) - you deserved it (3328)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by vsshopper (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34085) - you deserved it (4984)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38079) - you deserved it (5621)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38079) - you deserved it (5621)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I signed the divorce papers my wife gave me. When I went to bed, she was on the phone talking to her new boyfriend. FML

#19131247
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33714) - you deserved it (2640)

On 02/21/2012 at 1:45pm - love - by GeeTwo - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML

#19131070
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26641) - you deserved it (6305)

On 02/21/2012 at 1:03pm - love - by Djcc - United States

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

#19126066
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32104) - you deserved it (4983)

On 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Gothicbunnyx3 - United States

Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML

#19121562
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29448) - you deserved it (5836)

On 02/20/2012 at 9:23am - intimacy - by Gabi - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

#19117584
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28012) - you deserved it (2773)

On 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm - love - by Nicole - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was at my house to hang out. When he was leaving I thought it would be cute to run and jump on him to say goodbye. He fell and hit his head. He is now in the hospital with a concussion. FML

#19106653
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13936) - you deserved it (29466)

On 02/18/2012 at 10:49am - love - by sandysmith - United States

Today, I realized that my fiancé only touches me when he wants to have sex. Any other contact is purely accidental. FML

#19105886
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28521) - you deserved it (3759)

On 02/18/2012 at 7:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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