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About Yourheadache : We were dressed n ready to go out, We turned on a night light, n put the cat in the backyard. We requested a taxi. The taxi arrived n we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the back yard, scoots back into the front door. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. I go out to the taxi, while my husband went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with him in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, I don't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, I explain to the taxi driver that he will be out soon, 'He's just going upstairs to say bye to my mother.' A few mins later, he got into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long,' he said, as we drove away 'That stupid pussy was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her 4m scratching me. But it worked
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Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
Friday 5 February 2016