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Your_Mom_in_Me

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Your_Mom_in_Me

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Your_Mom_in_Me's favorite FMLs

Today, as I put my 4 year old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML

#13450247
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21716) - you deserved it (8293)

On 10/14/2010 at 8:25pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it's my birthday, and the only person that called me was my boss. He wants me to cover his shift tonight. FML

#13448275
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30955) - you deserved it (2625)

On 10/14/2010 at 6:10pm - work - by unloved - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my best friend told me I lost weight. I was happy because I've worked hard to shed off those pounds. I asked her what changes were evident, she told me that I now have a neck. FML

#11953086
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25709) - you deserved it (9126)

On 07/18/2010 at 12:02am - health - by lalala (woman) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me through Skype, with the message "my penis wants more, but my heart and mind don't want to hurt you." FML

#10462251
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34683) - you deserved it (3836)

On 05/11/2010 at 4:56am - intimacy - by justsingle (woman) - Philippines

Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML

#10414091
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38567) - you deserved it (3184)

On 05/08/2010 at 6:07am - intimacy - by notmydad. (woman) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I went to the bathroom to take a piss. While washing my hands, I heard someone taking a large dump in one of the stalls. When he was finished, he left the bathroom without washing his hands. Turns out he was the IT guy I called to fix my computer. He sat down on my chair and used my keyboard. FML

#8979705
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24619) - you deserved it (1985)

On 03/10/2010 at 7:40pm - work - by penpendesrapen - Philippines (Manila)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37376) - you deserved it (3316)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, we had a NAT for our preparation for college. I did quite well and knew most of the answers. When I turned mine in, I realised I forgot to write my name. The proctor doesn't allow giving back test papers after it is turned in. And no, I can't retake it. FML

#7929962
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10773) - you deserved it (25853)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:35am - misc - by stupidupid (woman) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I made a friend on an online chat. We got along fairly well and even traded Facebook accounts. I found out that the two of us had a lot of very surprising things in common. We were the same age, we were from the same school, and we even had the same boyfriend. FML

#7805682
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36867) - you deserved it (2974)

On 02/02/2010 at 1:57am - misc - by Zephyric - United States (California)

Today, my roommate gave me a self-help book on alcoholism for my birthday. He's an alcoholic. I gave him that book around 8 months ago. FML

#6674667
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22765) - you deserved it (4691)

On 12/09/2009 at 12:29am - misc - by notalcoholic (man) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, my mom said I was the worst of her 5 children. My IQ is 130, an honor student, I don't smoke, I don't drink alcohol, or do drugs. I'm the "worst" because I don't go to church every Sunday. FML

#5791977
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44077) - you deserved it (9755)

On 10/12/2009 at 4:23am - misc - by worst (man) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, I joined a small disaster relief group. I remarked to the big, long-haired person beside me that it was surprising that I was the only female in the group. I got a cold stare. Later I asked another volunteer about that person. He answered, "Oh, her? She's my sister." FML

#5566724
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9641) - you deserved it (33891)

On 09/30/2009 at 3:30pm - work - by Blurry (woman) - Philippines (Batangas)

Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumps on my lap and vomits all over my doughnuts, stares at me then bites the doughnut out of my hand. FML

#5522112
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38084) - you deserved it (4725)

On 09/28/2009 at 2:41am - animals - by Heww (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was going at a big concert in my university. I paid around a hundred-twenty bucks for my ticket. Outside the venue, people were handing out the tickets. For free. FML

#5457566
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29065) - you deserved it (12019)

On 09/24/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by akosirm (man) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today, as I was coming out of the ladies' room, I saw a guy glancing at me. A few minutes later, I saw him coming at me at a fast rate. I decided to run from him. As I got out of the building and into a cab, I saw him from the window waving my phone at me. He was just trying to return it. FML

#5410009
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8239) - you deserved it (41792)

On 09/22/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by georgiana072 (woman) - Philippines (Benguet)



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