visit this site daily. my life's great, but i do have a few FMLs that i would love to share.
so come on, we'll fight in the Shade...
lets be friends ^_^ myspace.com/theamericandrean
=]
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by sending me a Bumper Sticker on Facebook that said "Bitch, let's get married". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38441) - you totally deserved it (4388)
On 08/30/2009 at 12:40pm - love - by mylifesucks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my husband and I decided to take a romantic trip to the beach. We got pulled over, and shortly thereafter he was arrested. Just so happens you can't miss child support payments for your twelve year old daughter without getting a warrant. He has a daughter? We've been married for 14 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43320) - you totally deserved it (1516)
On 08/26/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by AreYouSerious (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32307) - you totally deserved it (6155)
On 08/25/2009 at 7:56pm - love - by RitaDahhlinnnng (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my band played its first real gig. It was going well, and I, the vocalist, thought it would be a good idea to stage dive. I underestimated the distance between the stage and the crowd and crashed into the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5611) - you totally deserved it (34637)
On 08/19/2009 at 10:36am - misc - by stagedivefail (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52001) - you totally deserved it (3272)
On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, after running late for work, my boss called me into his office and asked me why I was wearing a uniform shirt that said Amanda. My name is Rob. Amanda is my fiancé, who works for the same organization at a different location. Employees are prohibited from dating each other. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30000) - you totally deserved it (10444)
On 08/17/2009 at 11:14am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I took a shower at my friend's house. The shampoo smelled really good that I asked my friend where she bought it so I could get one also. Her reply? Petco. I just washed my hair with dog shampoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18655) - you totally deserved it (11537)
On 08/17/2009 at 3:37am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40533) - you totally deserved it (4076)
On 08/16/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I grabbed the nearest plastic bag in my bedroom when my boyfriend and I left for Wal-Mart so I could return a pair of shorts. When the cashier dumped the contents of the bag onto the counter at customer service, my shorts and a used condom fell out. It was the longest return of my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7663) - you totally deserved it (32320)
On 08/16/2009 at 2:51pm - intimacy - by lolreturn (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, while I was watching Miley Cyrus' new music video, I had an itch near my bikini line that I couldn't reach through my jeans. So I unzipped my pants to get to it, and that's when my boyfriend walked in on me with my hands down my pants. He thought I was getting off on the music video. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30880) - you totally deserved it (13073)
On 08/15/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by notguilty (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (49627) - you totally deserved it (4701)
On 08/13/2009 at 11:23am - intimacy - by esb (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I told my friend how I liked this girl but was too scared to ask her out. He told me "Why? The worst she's going to do is say no." Building confidence I approached her and asked her on a date. Then she replied "Get away douchebag!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41233) - you totally deserved it (2541)
On 08/10/2009 at 5:20am - love - by Rejected (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I hooked up with the guy I've been seeing. Apparently he doesn't believe in condoms and took it off without my knowing; I didn't realize until after. When I asked him in horror why he would do such a thing, he said "I love you. I want you to have my child." It had been our second date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45665) - you totally deserved it (19918)
On 08/09/2009 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by SoniaLovesYou - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43050) - you totally deserved it (5662)
On 08/03/2009 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by BeboKhaos (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was talking to my guy friend on the phone. He said, "You sound depressed, I should cheer you up and give you a big hug." Jokingly, I responded, "You wouldn't hug something as gross as me." His response? "You'd be surprised." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8376) - you totally deserved it (24796)
On 07/31/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by Girafarig (woman) - United States (California)
