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YouMadBra

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YouMadBra

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  • Number of visits : 1511
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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YouMadBra's favorite FMLs

Today, it's my fourth day of my trip to the USA. I've actually started keeping count of the number of times people get confused because I was born in South Africa and yet am not black. Current count: 9. FML

#21245756
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23159) - you deserved it (1940)

On 08/26/2014 at 12:22pm - misc - by WTF, guys? - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to a public restroom. I have anxiety problems and can't go unless I'm the only one in the room. Another girl came in right after me, and I was waiting for her to leave. She was also waiting. After a while, I left first and had to hold my pee for a few more hours. FML

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31642) - you deserved it (6066)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, at my father's funeral, they were playing the song from Phantom of the Opera where she sings about her lost father. Apparently the song organizer forgot to edit out the part where her romantic interest runs toward her and yells, "That... That THING is not your father!" FML

#21245330
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25092) - you deserved it (1889)

On 08/25/2014 at 7:55pm - misc - by NotThePhantom - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML

#21245120
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29772) - you deserved it (2560)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:58pm - misc - by nhyari (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26690) - you deserved it (9250)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML

#21245034
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22136) - you deserved it (12027)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34723) - you deserved it (5889)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML

#21244619
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25959) - you deserved it (4648)

On 08/24/2014 at 8:08pm - animals - by notmyrealname123 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

#21244565
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33784) - you deserved it (6425)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm - work - by fuck you, tasha (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I overheard my dad say "Last time I didn't use a condom, I ended up with Steven, so for god's sake use 'em." I'm Steven. FML

#21244545
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31772) - you deserved it (2485)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a TV show about wildlife. The moment the narrator said the word "peacock", my boyfriend broke down into hysterical laughter. He laughed to the point of tears, and had to excuse himself. I'm dating a man-child. FML

#21243818
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31964) - you deserved it (6567)

On 08/23/2014 at 1:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up at 4am to my mom's drunk boyfriend digging in the backyard, frantically muttering "Where the fuck is it?" When I went out and asked what was going on, he told me to get back inside or he'd dig a hole for me too. I'm beyond scared. FML

#21243776
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36982) - you deserved it (2635)

On 08/23/2014 at 12:44pm - misc - by wtf... (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML

#21243572
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40429) - you deserved it (3888)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by confidence taken - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

#21243310
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21359) - you deserved it (39776)

On 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)



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