Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

YouCantBreakMe

Search for a member

YouCantBreakMe

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 828
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

YouCantBreakMe's page activity

Visits<b>JaiBrooks5</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 8:43pm<b>OverTheRainbows</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 4:57pm<b>rawr_ily96</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 2:40pm<b>bob226</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 4:27am<b>jeweleecortez</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 4:38pm<b>rocketturtle98</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 3:45pm<b>fthku</b> - the 05/24/2011 at 7:32am

YouCantBreakMe's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of YouCantBreakMe's badges

YouCantBreakMe's favorite FMLs

Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML

#16115344
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14569) - you deserved it (43009)

On 05/10/2011 at 6:48am - misc - by Kyle (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

#15219004
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36696) - you deserved it (6539)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML

#15098216
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13234) - you deserved it (31326)

On 02/24/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by Annie (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43342) - you deserved it (7939)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

#14644616
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33995) - you deserved it (7633)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30076) - you deserved it (3227)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, while making a move in a board game that helped my boyfriend win, he got all excited and said "I love you, babe." I smiled until I realized this was the first time he told me that other than when he wants a blow-job. FML

#14007128
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27063) - you deserved it (5728)

On 11/28/2010 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw an elderly woman in need of help of crossing a street. I helped her across. On the way she just about fell and held onto me to keep from hitting the ground. After she left on her bus I reached for my wallet. It was gone. I had just been robbed by a 70 year old. FML

#14006967
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30057) - you deserved it (3671)

On 11/28/2010 at 1:02am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

#14003911
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30208) - you deserved it (4053)

On 11/27/2010 at 9:17pm - health - by fulloshit - United States (Washington)

Today, I parked in a different lot because the one I usually park in was full. When I came back later, a bumper sticker was stuck to the windshield that said, "INCONSIDERATE F***, DON'T PARK HERE AGAIN!" To make matters worse, it was stuck on with a special type of glue, so it can't be removed. FML

#13976470
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23795) - you deserved it (4580)

On 11/25/2010 at 4:01pm - misc - by El Camino (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my family and I were watching Mulan, and I mentioned that I've always had a crush on Shang. After going into detail about how I would "marry his sexy voice" I decided to look up this mystery dream man. To my surprise he was played by Donny Osmond. I will never live this down. FML

#13807463
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8186) - you deserved it (23192)

On 11/11/2010 at 9:40pm - misc - by hot4donny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

#12978436
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8465) - you deserved it (38230)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

#12978436
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8465) - you deserved it (38230)

On 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 72 year old Grandmother informed me she's running for mayor. She's been going around town with home made signs all day campaigning to win mayor. She lives in my town. My friend called me asking me if she was high. FML

#12880726
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23758) - you deserved it (3538)

On 09/03/2010 at 2:18am - misc - by AnnaWusHere - United States (Minnesota)

Today, the girl that I fancy was sick and I offered to hug her, but she protested saying that she didn't want to get me sick. I told her, "If hugging you gets me sick, then I'll just have to deal with being sick." She gave me the biggest hug she could. I haven't stopped puking since. FML

#10812675
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12352) - you deserved it (52729)

On 05/28/2010 at 12:15am - love - by TheSickness (man) - United States (Connecticut)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: