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Today, I finally went on a date with my crush. When he kissed me goodnight, it made me think of a dying slug. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26088) - you deserved it (5225)
On 06/21/2011 at 7:52am - love - by anon - United States
Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13580) - you deserved it (58456)
On 04/08/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by failure -
Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47514) - you deserved it (21371)
On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found out my boyfriend doesn't stop when I'm unconscious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46238) - you deserved it (7109)
On 03/19/2011 at 6:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, my boyfriend called me and dumped me. Thirty minutes later he called asking for me back. When I asked why, he said "The other girl dumped me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36037) - you deserved it (3170)
On 03/09/2011 at 3:27am - love - by life_isnt_fair (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (14072) - you deserved it (66852)
On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (16306) - you deserved it (24429)
On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41269) - you deserved it (7483)
On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while at my boyfriends place, I thought I would be nice by folding his laundry and putting it away since he was working late. I opened his sock drawer and sitting on top was a photo of his mother, naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44581) - you deserved it (3308)
On 01/29/2011 at 1:55am - intimacy - by FamilySecret - United States
Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31803) - you deserved it (6157)
On 01/04/2011 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Reserved
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to take our first shower together. When he came into the room, he had swimming trunks on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27954) - you deserved it (3891)
On 12/31/2010 at 1:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous -
Today, I found my iPhone. Too bad it was when I was getting my clothes out of the washer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8887) - you deserved it (17618)
On 12/06/2010 at 3:31pm - misc - by Kris - United States
Today, I walked outside to see my friend frantically waving and running at me, yelling something I couldn't understand. I smiled and started to jog over to him until I realized he was screaming "RUN!!!" We spent the next 10 minutes running from his neighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18141) - you deserved it (4757)
On 12/04/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by chi-huaHUA - United States
Today, I had to make up a boyfriend to stop my lesbian roommate coming onto me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25127) - you deserved it (4750)
On 11/29/2010 at 7:39am - intimacy - by katelouise2102 - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)
Today, while making love to my boyfriend, my sister called my cell phone. Not wanting to face the consequences of not answering, I had a long conversation with her. My boyfriend kept going. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6392) - you deserved it (32919)
On 11/27/2010 at 9:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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