About YdoIhaveAchode : I'm a nice guy who enjoys PS3, marijuana & skateboarding.
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YdoIhaveAchode's favorite FMLs
by oliverP123 / 07/22/2011 at 12:11am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML
by stargirl / 07/18/2011 at 8:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/18/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on a hot date. After we finished supper we went back to his place. My stomach started to feel upset so I politely asked where is bathroom was so I could "powder my nose". After ten minutes of agonizing diarrhea, I looked down and noticed he was out of toilet paper. FML
by anonymous / 07/16/2011 at 9:18am / Canada / Health
by Tanner / 07/16/2011 at 2:23am / United States (Tennessee) / Money
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Username / 07/11/2011 at 1:42pm / United States / Health
Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML
by Anonymous / 07/08/2011 at 3:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work
by danam / 07/04/2011 at 10:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML
by WasteOMoney / 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation
Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
by Hopslammer / 06/16/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Indiana) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/11/2011 at 6:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by a "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. And we continued to chat. FML
by IPityTheStool / 06/09/2011 at 9:22am / United Kingdom (London) / Health
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML
by CatLady / 06/09/2011 at 3:20am / United States (California) / Animals
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…