About YdoIhaveAchode : I'm a nice guy who enjoys PS3, marijuana & skateboarding.
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YdoIhaveAchode's favorite FMLs
by oliverP123 / 07/22/2011 at 12:11am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML
by stargirl / 07/18/2011 at 8:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/18/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on a hot date. After we finished supper we went back to his place. My stomach started to feel upset so I politely asked where is bathroom was so I could "powder my nose". After ten minutes of agonizing diarrhea, I looked down and noticed he was out of toilet paper. FML
by anonymous / 07/16/2011 at 9:18am / Canada / Health
by Tanner / 07/16/2011 at 2:23am / United States (Tennessee) / Money
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Username / 07/11/2011 at 1:42pm / United States / Health
Today, I'd just finished cleaning the bathrooms at work when I saw a young boy go in. Of course, I thought nothing of it until I had to use the bathroom myself ten minutes later. The kid had taken a shit and missed the toilet completely. FML
by Anonymous / 07/08/2011 at 3:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work
by danam / 07/04/2011 at 10:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML
by WasteOMoney / 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation
Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
by Hopslammer / 06/16/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Indiana) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/11/2011 at 6:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by a "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. And we continued to chat. FML
by IPityTheStool / 06/09/2011 at 9:22am / United Kingdom (London) / Health
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML
by CatLady / 06/09/2011 at 3:20am / United States (California) / Animals
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…