About YdoIhaveAchode : I'm a nice guy who enjoys PS3, marijuana & skateboarding.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Mobility
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Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27896) - you deserved it (4965)
On 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm - kids - by DocBastard (man) - Reserved
Today, realizing how poor I am, I decided to steal gas. The only place I was brave enough to steal from was my parents' lawn mower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7371) - you deserved it (22941)
On 12/15/2011 at 10:49am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16312) - you deserved it (16893)
On 12/14/2011 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17581) - you deserved it (5511)
On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)
Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24099) - you deserved it (1837)
On 12/12/2011 at 6:17pm - intimacy - by flowerchildd2 - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, saying we're too different. His only example? He likes ham and I don't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24110) - you deserved it (2943)
On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - love - by PunkChik27 - United States (Ohio)
Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35359) - you deserved it (623)
On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States
Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5890) - you deserved it (52584)
On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24167) - you deserved it (3278)
On 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by journey_Jeanne - United States (California)
Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35830) - you deserved it (3564)
On 12/06/2011 at 10:36am - intimacy - by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34093) - you deserved it (11974)
On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I have the stomach flu. If my belly growls, I have 30 seconds or less to get to the bathroom. I can't go to the doctor for fear of shitting my pants on the trip there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22353) - you deserved it (1461)
On 11/30/2011 at 5:53am - health - by shitty day - United States
Today, I'm spending time with my granny, with whom I'm supposed to live with for a few weeks. I've noticed that she repeats the last word of every sentence I say, and now I'm wondering how it's possible for me to now be so horrible that I want to punch a sweet 92-year-old lady in the head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17655) - you deserved it (3671)
On 11/29/2011 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I'm spending time with my granny, with whom I'm supposed to live with for a few weeks. I've noticed that she repeats the last word of every sentence I say, and now I'm wondering how it's possible for me to now be so horrible that I want to punch a sweet 92-year-old lady in the head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17655) - you deserved it (3671)
On 11/29/2011 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30492) - you deserved it (6435)
On 11/25/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by notgoodenough - United States (Ohio)
Monday 20 May 2013
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