About YdoIhaveAchode : I'm a nice guy who enjoys PS3, marijuana & skateboarding.
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YdoIhaveAchode's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "what were you reaching for?" FML
by reesemaster / 11/22/2010 at 7:18pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/05/2010 at 5:09pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Animals
Today, I woke up cold. The guy I had sex with last night stole my blanket. He also took everything out of my freezer, and all of my soap, shampoo, and conditioner. The number he left me was for a pizza place. FML
by Anonymous / 10/27/2010 at 11:27pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML
by Anonymous / 10/20/2010 at 6:22pm / United States (Illinois) / Geek
by ktwithaq / 10/18/2010 at 7:27am / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 9:20am / Spain (Asturias) / Intimacy
Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
by JLD / 10/11/2010 at 12:34am / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, I was visiting my boyfriend, who lives 2 hours away. After about twenty minutes of glorious sex, he told me in no uncertain terms that he was about to come. He then "baaa"d like a sheep as he came. I couldn't come after that. FML
by seriously / 10/02/2010 at 4:31pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/30/2010 at 8:47pm / United States (New York) / Love
by peepee. / 09/29/2010 at 11:17pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML
by vikinggirl / 09/13/2010 at 5:14am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML
by FYouBoyfriend / 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/30/2010 at 2:02am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/29/2010 at 10:02pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my date out for dinner to a seafood restaurant and she ordered expensive prawns. Later, when we had sex, she started to complain about her stomach hurting and then had diarrhea for hours. Great job prawns. FML
by Matt / 08/29/2010 at 12:53am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…