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Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, " I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone that day because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31068) - you deserved it (3079)
On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by Missy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, " I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone that day because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31068) - you deserved it (3079)
On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by Missy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32587) - you deserved it (3464)
On 09/09/2009 at 3:33pm - kids - by WOCOACH (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97295) - you deserved it (23464)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40094) - you deserved it (123023)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (92963) - you deserved it (6034)
On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30732) - you deserved it (71479)
On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out why my boyfriend gets so upset when I make jokes about him and his best guy friend being lovers. It's because they are. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54744) - you deserved it (6501)
On 08/10/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43664) - you deserved it (2151)
On 08/04/2009 at 4:40am - misc - by superfiedman (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52041) - you deserved it (7052)
On 08/03/2009 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by BeboKhaos (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend and I were having ice cream and I jokingly asked "What's better? The sex or ice cream?" Apparently I don't pleasure her like Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14958) - you deserved it (33982)
On 08/01/2009 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my little 7 and 6 year old cousins came visit my family home. I heard the oldest one say that my sister was nice and pretty. Then the youngest replied "Yeah, but the older one has the face of a murderer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34562) - you deserved it (2459)
On 07/31/2009 at 12:01am - kids - by BadMurderer (woman) - Mexico (Tabasco)
Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13759) - you deserved it (54737)
On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I get a call from my friend explaining that our two best friends died in a car accident. I pulled over in hysterics and a cop came to see what was wrong. I explained what happened and he gave me a ticket for talking on the phone while driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82357) - you deserved it (10680)
On 07/22/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by sadinseattle (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I get a call from my friend explaining that our two best friends died in a car accident. I pulled over in hysterics and a cop came to see what was wrong. I explained what happened and he gave me a ticket for talking on the phone while driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82357) - you deserved it (10680)
On 07/22/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by sadinseattle (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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