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Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19190) - you deserved it (2563)
On 11/19/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by pussystroker (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)
Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31273) - you deserved it (1953)
On 11/12/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by missmycomp (man) - Singapore
Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39627) - you deserved it (3777)
On 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by doglover (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26993) - you deserved it (5572)
On 10/28/2009 at 4:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25623) - you deserved it (6421)
On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28296) - you deserved it (4778)
On 10/24/2009 at 8:20am - misc - by nnnaaazzz - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30955) - you deserved it (4860)
On 10/21/2009 at 4:27am - misc - by sore (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, some thug tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves and told a cop that I did it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45595) - you deserved it (1702)
On 10/20/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by BobbyHutchinson (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I went to buy my prom dress. I felt really good as I walked out of the dressing room, until someone walked out of the room next to me wearing the same dress, and looked better in it than I did. It was a man buying it for his drag show. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23350) - you deserved it (2745)
On 10/13/2009 at 1:26pm - misc - by draggirl (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I went in my room to play my guitar. I found my Les Paul on the floor with all the strings missing. I later found out my grandma cut them off because I was playing "Devil's Music." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36851) - you deserved it (2410)
On 10/11/2009 at 1:21pm - misc - by cbarebo (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I was at my son's baseball game when a foul ball came flying toward my brand new car. In an attempt to save my windshield, I dove onto trying to stop the ball only to land on my windshield, crack it and see the ball land safely on the ground next to my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7414) - you deserved it (25445)
On 10/01/2009 at 2:27pm - misc - by baseball25635 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was talking to my mom about how my fiancé has been ignoring me and that I didn't know why. Turns out, my mother told him that I was too much of a handful, was mentally disturbed and also cheating on him. Just so I wouldn't move out and would keep cleaning her house for free. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43493) - you deserved it (1755)
On 09/30/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by Notthemaid (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56423) - you deserved it (3657)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20804) - you deserved it (3691)
On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43820) - you deserved it (2267)
On 09/11/2009 at 2:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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