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YakuzaxGeneralz's favorite FMLs
Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML
by painfulintercourse / 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by botheredgf / 11/09/2010 at 7:02am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Love
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML
by Anonymous / 11/02/2010 at 12:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, my little cousin is going to be staying at our house for a year or so, because of financial problems. It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that every single night he creeps up on me while I'm sleeping, and shouts "GO F YOURSELF!" directly into my ear. Only another 11 months to go. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2010 at 12:44am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
Today, I was sitting in my room watching TV when I heard my mother obnoxiously yelling for the dog. Minutes later she stomped into my room, swatted me over the head, and yelled at me for not answering when she called. She actually got my name mixed up with the dog's. FML
by lindsey789 / 10/07/2010 at 12:21am / United States (Alaska) / Animals
by Crumpet / 06/25/2010 at 3:08am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by during / 05/19/2010 at 8:12am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by notmydad. / 05/08/2010 at 6:07am / Philippines (Manila) / Intimacy
by A. Person / 04/07/2010 at 1:36am / Mexico (Sonora) / Transportation
Today, I was working, ripping siding off a house. I pulled off a sheet that was over my head. I got rained with what I thought was woodchips that was behind the siding. Turns out they were dead grasshoppers. Guess what I found in my bra after work. FML
by xUnluckyx / 03/18/2010 at 1:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 3:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by RyanM / 03/10/2010 at 10:00am / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML
by GuiltByTenuousAssociation / 03/01/2010 at 8:17am / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation
Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm / United States (New York) / Love
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, because I’m on my period, I asked my boyfriend to turn around so I could change my clothes.… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long…