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YakuzaxGeneralz's favorite FMLs
by seanjohn268 / 11/29/2011 at 12:21pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
by hot_shot / 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I finally met the cute guy I've been seeing around town. Bad news is, I was drunk off my ass, and when he told me his name, I burst out laughing because it's the same as my puppy's. He did not take it well. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 7:39pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/16/2011 at 1:38am / Canada / Love
by Lame / 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (New York) / Money
Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML
by Sam / 06/24/2011 at 12:46am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by anonymous / 06/23/2011 at 10:19am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
by Anonymous / 05/29/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Intimacy
by Username / 05/29/2011 at 12:41am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I worked up the courage to confess my feelings to this girl I'm crazy about. I even wrote and recorded a song for her. Instead of listening to it, she gave it to her ex boyfriend who responded to my heartfelt words by headbutting me. FML
by StratMan / 05/28/2011 at 12:44pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
by 613tanner / 05/19/2011 at 1:30am / Transportation
by pyroman1127 / 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my girlfriend of one year kept dropping hints about us getting married and having kids soon.… Today, while shaving, my mother decided that my side burns were uneven. She took my razor and ended… Today,I was at school and I had to sneeze. After that happened I had a slight pain in the back of…