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Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29847) - you deserved it (5020)
Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34349) - you deserved it (4782)
On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29468) - you deserved it (3454)
On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I found out my dad thinks he's famous because he's been on 'Cops', twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35975) - you deserved it (479)
On 06/23/2011 at 10:19am - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52272) - you deserved it (9882)
On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of something I said 2 years ago, as a joke. I guess she took a while to get it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36250) - you deserved it (7002)
On 05/29/2011 at 12:41am - love - by Username - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I worked up the courage to confess my feelings to this girl I'm crazy about. I even wrote and recorded a song for her. Instead of listening to it, she gave it to her ex boyfriend who responded to my heartfelt words by headbutting me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28198) - you deserved it (6375)
On 05/28/2011 at 12:44pm - love - by StratMan (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9037) - you deserved it (47651)
On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -
Today, I gave a girl answers to a test. She said she would give me something pleasurable in return. She gave me a Twinkie, saying, "I know how much fat people love twinkies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21057) - you deserved it (25274)
On 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm - misc - by pyroman1127 - United States (Utah)
Today, my doctor told me I should consider a breast reduction. I'm a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28620) - you deserved it (9409)
On 05/11/2011 at 10:20pm - health - by anonymous -
Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37594) - you deserved it (4306)
On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)
Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26770) - you deserved it (5308)
On 04/25/2011 at 8:11am - misc - by wtfisthisworldcomingto -
Today, while skiing on Mammoth Mountain, a man dressed in an Easter Bunny costume snowboarded into me and sent me flying. Not only did he hurt my wrist, he also threw an Easter egg at me, yelled "Happy Easter", and snowboarded away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18626) - you deserved it (2899)
On 04/24/2011 at 7:49pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57595) - you deserved it (10128)
On 04/12/2011 at 12:00am - intimacy - by Artic (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29475) - you deserved it (4479)
On 04/08/2011 at 6:35am - health - by ridella -
Monday 20 May 2013
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