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YakuzaxGeneralz's favorite FMLs
by displeased / 04/05/2012 at 2:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by SG / 03/24/2012 at 8:14am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous
by KittenNomNom / 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Cheap N Happy / 02/17/2012 at 4:44am / United States / Love
by robzzz / 02/16/2012 at 2:13am / Canada / Intimacy
Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML
by jess / 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking down the street, when a car started cruising alongside me. I looked over, annoyed, at which point the driver started screaming obscenities and telling me that I'm "gonna get it" for "betraying" him, before angrily speeding off. I'm too scared to even sleep now. FML
by Saw / 02/10/2012 at 9:14pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Transportation
by ParkerRommel / 01/26/2012 at 10:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML
Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2012 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Love
by ericane27 / 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by lovely / 12/19/2011 at 1:43am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy
Today, I'm spending time with my granny, with whom I'm supposed to live with for a few weeks. I've noticed that she repeats the last word of every sentence I say, and now I'm wondering how it's possible for me to now be so horrible that I want to punch a sweet 92-year-old lady in the head. FML
by Anonymous / 11/29/2011 at 9:09pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited,… Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear,… Today, I found out that my boyfriend likes to show his female co-workers his dick, by emailing them…