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Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33514) - you deserved it (146639)
On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)
Today, I tried to prove to my dad that he snores by secretly putting a tape recorder under his bed. I soon found out my parents had sex that night. Apparently, my mom likes to talk dirty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29391) - you deserved it (75916)
On 03/11/2009 at 2:57pm - intimacy - by Zack (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)
Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21703) - you deserved it (35684)
On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55519) - you deserved it (323320)
On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55519) - you deserved it (323320)
On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55519) - you deserved it (323320)
On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)
Today, I drove to a party after getting my car back from the shop. A thunderstorm started as I made my way there and upon arriving, the power went out. The guests decided to watch the storm from the front windows when someone mentioned how funny it would be if a tree fell on my car. Seconds later, one did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53577) - you deserved it (2298)
On 02/23/2009 at 3:08am - misc - by Jessie (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while working on a carpentry project with my friend at 2am, and enjoying some beers, I cut my hand and realized I needed medical attention. Neither of us being in driving shape, I knocked on my parents bedroom door to request a ride. I was told I had to wait for them to "finish." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37662) - you deserved it (7245)
On 02/21/2009 at 7:39pm - misc - by Whothrewhim (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40564) - you deserved it (6412)
On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27998) - you deserved it (10664)
On 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm - animals - by EpicFail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40774) - you deserved it (1733)
On 02/04/2009 at 6:04pm - intimacy - by Sleeper_C3ll (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32000) - you deserved it (25981)
On 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by GavinHosler - United States (Michigan)
Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37803) - you deserved it (6398)
On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I slipped on a banana peel in a store parking lot as I was getting out of my car. I landed on my ass. The cops that were parking behind me later informed me that I would be able to see the video on youtube. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15346) - you deserved it (1216)
On 01/19/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by vixenscars - United States (California)
Today, whilst doing it with my girlfriend she goes :"are you done any time soon?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24399) - you deserved it (4414)
On 11/22/2008 at 7:24am - intimacy - by KaRaSu - Sent from mobile version
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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