YakuzaxGeneralz

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YakuzaxGeneralz

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 11 September 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5341
  • Number of comments : 137
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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YakuzaxGeneralz's page activity

Visits<b>weedle99</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 11:19pm<b>RayRayYoooo</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 11:39pm<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 10:28am<b>DaEpicTaco</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 4:44pm<b>CyanideCyan</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 4:14am<b>choochee02</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 1:07pm<b>Soccerboi15</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 3:38am<b>ilovesoccer1610</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 8:18pm<b>dumpless</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 5:38pm<b>owlicioua</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 12:43pm<b>WaltzingPhanthom</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 9:49pm<b>ashcroft97</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 10:00am<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 3:18am<b>tepovre</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 9:57pm<b>CheeseTacos</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 12:10am<b>hailstorm187</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 9:45pm<b>awesomeamandas</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 3:29am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:08am

Fucked!<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 4:29pm

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YakuzaxGeneralz's favorite FMLs

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML

by honeymoondisaster / 05/23/2009 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

by zero_minded12 / 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was standing on the packed bus home when I had a speck of dust in my lenses. As I couldn't rub it out, I tried blinking it out for the next five minutes. Then the hot girl opposite me screams "Stop winking at me, you bastard! Don't even think about it, you ugly fuck!" FML

by ballerphilip23 / 05/15/2009 at 1:11pm / Austria (Wien) / Transportation

Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped grabbed the ball for the kid and started to hand it to him. He then yelled "Stranger Danger" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30mins. FML

by TheJoker / 05/12/2009 at 1:25am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML

by Aether / 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, I went to my girlfriend's sorority formal, we were both drunk. We went into the bathroom, she started to give me head. After about 30 seconds the song changes and she jumps up and goes out to dance, leaving me there. Door open. Penis out. It was the song she requested. FML

by Lootz / 05/03/2009 at 1:10pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I woke to find my boyfriend of 2 years gone. I saw my little sister's talking bear at the bottom of my bed, it said "squeeze me" so I squeezed it and it said "it's over." It was my boyfriends voice. I was dumped by a talking bear. FML

by shawty_x / 04/26/2009 at 8:35am / United Kingdom (Hartlepool) / Love

Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML

by bdutton / 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML

by snotface / 04/23/2009 at 3:47pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML

by fencernick / 04/22/2009 at 6:40am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I was playing and laughing with my new baby boy. He was giggling, and it was adorable. Out of nowhere I say "you're my favorite!". Now I'm sitting here talking to my two other children about how what I said earlier I didn't mean personally. They never want to talk to me again. FML

by Damnlife123 / 04/20/2009 at 10:39pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

by Hikara / 04/13/2009 at 9:44am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 12:34am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I was playing in a basketball game and blocked this kid's shot. I was really pumped up about it until I realized the kid had cerebral palsy and the coach put him on the team because he really wanted to be on at least one team in his life. FML

by jalapenos99 / 04/01/2009 at 8:36pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids