Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 313
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About YOLOMASTER : Soo I made this account mostly to make fun of a friend, but am now actually using it.. I wish I didn't make my username yolomaster.

YOLOMASTER's page activity

Visits<b>beeferjay</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 2:14am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 3:41pm<b>nephilim241</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 5:26am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 12:03pm<b>JoseIsAdork</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 11:08pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 8:37am<b>El_Mojiiito</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 8:04am<b>jonathan_dallas</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 3:07pm<b>Candycake</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 9:08pm<b>ajax_united</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 5:08pm<b>Empyree</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:10pm<b>KaylaMarie00</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 3:14pm<b>Just_Ya</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 2:36pm<b>southernbelle_rn</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 11:10pm<b>blcksocks</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 9:39am<b>jonahwalzer</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 1:25pm<b>Ohotsk</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 8:43am<b>foog19</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 11:26pm

Fucked!<b>beeferjay</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 8:14am



You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of YOLOMASTER's badges

YOLOMASTER's favorite FMLs

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML


I agree, your life sucks (57685) - you deserved it (7523)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, my grandma added to my elephant collection by giving me some underwear with elephant ears on the hips, and a long, sock-like nose. She has no idea they're meant for a guy. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53465) - you deserved it (5150)

On 12/11/2013 at 3:14pm - intimacy - by ElephantLover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML


I agree, your life sucks (63526) - you deserved it (4629)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45625) - you deserved it (4157)

On 11/17/2013 at 8:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I tried to storm out of the room during an argument, but walked face-first into our closed sliding glass door. My boyfriend laughed so hard that he had to sit down. Later, we noticed the nose mark I left. He won't let me clean it, because he wants to show it to everyone. FML

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML


I agree, your life sucks (66036) - you deserved it (27018)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52838) - you deserved it (5741)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:15am - intimacy - by merpaderp14 (woman) - Canada

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60941) - you deserved it (6577)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53235) - you deserved it (9882)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML


I agree, your life sucks (57114) - you deserved it (8540)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by none - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was walking downstairs to get breakfast, I saw my parents had decided to have a quickie on the couch. I had to awkwardly stand out of sight on the stairs, too scared to go down, or even back up, because our stairs creak. FML

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML


I agree, your life sucks (52486) - you deserved it (5293)

On 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by Serum - United States (Kansas)

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55847) - you deserved it (12214)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43138) - you deserved it (3489)

On 05/22/2013 at 6:56am - misc - by stillhave2years - United States

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML Pics : The top 4 pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the…

Tuesday 24 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: