XxxEmoAngelxxX

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Offline (the 08/26/2014 at 4:30am)

XxxEmoAngelxxX

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 342
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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XxxEmoAngelxxX's page activity

Visits<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 4:24pm<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 6:07pm<b>Devindelon</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 1:18pm

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XxxEmoAngelxxX's favorite FMLs

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a restaurant so I could apply for a job, and we decided to eat there. After we finished, I went to start the car. When we got home, I asked him how much the bill came to. Apparently he didn't pay. I had already given them my completed application. FML

by TheyHaveMyAddress / 03/06/2014 at 12:52am / United States (Michigan) / Money

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

by Anonomous / 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm / United States (Vermont) / Animals

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

by quirrus / 05/07/2012 at 5:42am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 12:12am / United States / Work

Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML

by someone / 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I sent my romantic interest a sexy text about a dream I had about a "sex gameshow." I sent it by replying to the last text sent. I'm now responsible for traumatizing my 12 year old niece who could only reply, "Like Jeopardy?" FML

by PandaMantis / 06/25/2011 at 12:32am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she met someone else on World of Warcraft. I've been paying for her subscription. FML

by Thanh Quang / 01/31/2011 at 12:58am / Love

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

by Username / 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm / Kids

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

by FYouBoyfriend / 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my best friend who I've known since high school is getting married. I'm supposed to give a toast during the reception about how great the bride and groom are. I've been sleeping with the groom for the past 7 months. FML

by Emily / 08/03/2010 at 7:54pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML

by fuckmylife / 02/02/2010 at 3:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, I was feeling proud of myself because I finally quit World Of Warcraft. I later found out about the gift my dad's family gave me. It was a 12-month subscription to World Of Warcraft. FML

by thatguy / 12/26/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous