XxxAnitaxxX

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Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 12:00pm)

XxxAnitaxxX

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 7 June 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3626
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About XxxAnitaxxX : I'm hungry. Bi. Interested in someone. Still hungry. Feed me pie. I like pie. Yummy. Okay. Bye.

XxxAnitaxxX's page activity

Visits<b>bmckee196</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 3:20pm<b>rissamarie</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 5:59pm<b>lakers12324</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 4:01pm<b>Leo619</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 11:13am<b>Krastrolytric</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 5:11am<b>falsecut</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 12:12am<b>Amy_Nguyen_12</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 7:29pm<b>ILoveMyIpad1234</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 11:14pm<b>dukefan302</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 9:57am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 1:06pm<b>BiGBoYWaNTsSoDa</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 11:33pm<b>cassidia952</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 5:04pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 10:40pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 9:40am<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 4:27am<b>cat_marie</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 9:12pm<b>Gregshelton8611</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 7:39pm<b>stonedagain</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 6:19pm

XxxAnitaxxX's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of XxxAnitaxxX's badges

XxxAnitaxxX's favorite FMLs

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML

Today, I was working at the checkout of a nearly empty store, so I picked up an empty box, closed my eyes, and slow-danced with it to the 80s love ballad playing on the radio. I don't know what's worse, dancing with a box, or opening my eyes to see ten or so wary customers waiting to be served. FML

by foreveralone / 11/13/2012 at 5:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat, he also got inside the car and sat next to my date, pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time, and walked me back to the house. My mom laughed and gave him $20. It was a dare. FML

Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duct tape on ducks." FML

by Danny / 11/11/2012 at 12:05am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

by Squid / 11/07/2012 at 12:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML

by Misunderstood Waitress / 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm / United States / Work

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. I thought it was all going really well, until I looked up a minute or two in, only to be greeted by a stone-cold death glare and the words, "You really are an idiot, aren't you?" FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2012 at 3:46pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML

by NotSpiderman / 10/31/2012 at 1:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

by Andrew / 10/30/2012 at 2:08am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

by Andrew / 10/30/2012 at 2:08am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML

by friedbutter / 10/28/2012 at 10:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML

by prettylady? / 10/28/2012 at 12:22am / United States / Love

Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML

by Ceej / 10/28/2012 at 12:06am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm / Germany (Bayern) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and I asked him to call me something sweet. He called me Honey Boo Boo. FML

by TypeOhNegative / 10/22/2012 at 11:18pm / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.