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XxxAnitaxxX

Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 12:00pm) | Search for a member

XxxAnitaxxX

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 7 June 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1142
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About XxxAnitaxxX : I'm hungry. Bi. Interested in someone. Still hungry. Feed me pie. I like pie. Yummy. Okay. Bye.

XxxAnitaxxX's page activity

Visits<b>ILoveMyIpad1234</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 11:14pm<b>dukefan302</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 9:57am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 1:06pm<b>BiGBoYWaNTsSoDa</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 11:33pm<b>cassidia952</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 5:04pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 10:40pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 9:40am<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 4:27am<b>cat_marie</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 9:12pm<b>Gregshelton8611</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 7:39pm<b>stonedagain</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 6:19pm<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 4:47pm<b>alti</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 4:30pm<b>Viperrr</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 3:12pm<b>mercrover</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 3:09pm<b>btcrusin</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 2:52pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 2:38pm<b>brwneyes</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 2:37pm

XxxAnitaxxX's FML badges

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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XxxAnitaxxX's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

#20399736
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32004) - you deserved it (5962)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:52pm - love - by mandybar15 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML

#20198660
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23764) - you deserved it (1540)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Alec (man) - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my current bootycall when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed" "moo-ed" and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML

#20198007
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26114) - you deserved it (9206)

On 12/09/2012 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by Bug5992 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML

#20193609
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34634) - you deserved it (3987)

On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML

#20193405
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32912) - you deserved it (3673)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:18am - animals - by psd60 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML

#20186465
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42011) - you deserved it (6610)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States

Today, in a state of extreme boredom, I decided to dress my 6-month-old son in girl's clothes. As he sat in my lap in a frilly dress, and as I was placing a very pink and lacy bow on his head, my mother-in-law unexpectedly walked in. She now thinks I'm mentally unstable and should be in therapy. FML

Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML

#20174722
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47278) - you deserved it (14016)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

#20174027
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22335) - you deserved it (1521)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7322) - you deserved it (32290)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

#20169456
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33205) - you deserved it (4962)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18672) - you deserved it (16259)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 6 months yelled at me for not comforting her while she was crying because her ex got a new girlfriend, and "it's just not fair." FML

#20169074
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29194) - you deserved it (2211)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:13am - love - by they've been broken up for a year. - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

#20167650
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21605) - you deserved it (3020)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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