Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 12:00pm) | Search for a member
About XxxAnitaxxX : I'm hungry. Bi. Interested in someone. Still hungry. Feed me pie. I like pie. Yummy. Okay. Bye.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I woke up from a much needed nap realizing I should take my pain medication. My mother then told me she had thrown them out so I wouldn't get addicted and become a drug dealer. FML
Today, I went to pick up mah 6-year-old son from his friend's house . They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave . So,hile I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table . FML
Today..!! I started job at a kids summer camp!! The frst little grl to arrive told me to close eyes and open hand because she had a "surprise" 4 me!! Yep..!! a dead..!! decomposed sparrow covered in all sorts of bugs sure is a surprise!! FML
Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins an had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML
TODAY, MAH SISTER AND I WERE HAVING A SLUMBER PARTY IN MAH ROOM SINCE MAH PARENTS LEFT ON A TRIP. THEY LEFT MAH GRANDPARENTS HERE TO WATCH US. IT WAS PAST BED TIME AND WE STARTED HEARING SOME STRANGE NOISES THROUGH MAH FLOOR. WE THOUGHT IT WAS THE RADIO. TURNS OUT MAH GRANDMA IS A SCREAMER. FML
Today, I Was Getting Intimate With Mah Girlfriend. She Pulled Down Mah Trousers, Saw Mah Poke-ball Boxers, An Absolutely Lost It. I Had To Lie Next To Her In Bed 4 The Next 10 Minutes Hearing Her Howl With Laughter While Crying ( Dickachu, I Choose You! ) FML
Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minute later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place 4 a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing 4 my life. FML
Friday 27 March 2015