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XxxAnitaxxX

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XxxAnitaxxX
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 7 June 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 672
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About XxxAnitaxxX : I'm hungry. Bi. Interested in someone. Still hungry. Feed me pie. I like pie. Yummy. Okay. Bye.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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XxxAnitaxxX's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so bored that I actually read the iTunes store's terms and conditions. FML

#20024681
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28675) - you deserved it (7053)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by cardsftw - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

#20024660
500 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10350) - you deserved it (144689)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

#20024327
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18415) - you deserved it (4644)

On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)

Today, I learned that if you go through your best friend's phone, you can find sexy texts and nude pictures between him and your girlfriend. FML

#19990134
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29113) - you deserved it (3991)

On 07/29/2012 at 1:27am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24593) - you deserved it (11925)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

#19981825
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17784) - you deserved it (4380)

On 07/24/2012 at 4:08pm - health - by *facefloor* (man) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend, who is a fully-grown man, that making dinosaur noises in public is no longer acceptable. FML

#19932203
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14040) - you deserved it (5212)

On 07/13/2012 at 10:36am - misc - by shorty4 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I sneezed my jaw out of socket. Yes, this is possible. FML

#19899616
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27213) - you deserved it (1735)

On 07/06/2012 at 11:03am - misc - by hotpatata - United States

Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML

#19850668
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17584) - you deserved it (8322)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Heather (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

#19788440
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45494) - you deserved it (3026)

On 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by aranya (man) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I went to see my dermatologist friend for a free consultation on my terrible acne. During my visit, she said I probably won't be getting any more pimples. Excited, I asked her how she could tell. She replied, "There's no more room for it." FML

#19787608
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25309) - you deserved it (2114)

On 06/14/2012 at 3:34pm - health - by ultraattitude - United States

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

#19750023
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27334) - you deserved it (4208)

On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a restaurant in front of a lot of people. Once I said yes, some guy yelled out, "SEX. SEX. SEX." My boyfriend yelled back, "LATER!" FML

#19734660
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24650) - you deserved it (5489)

On 06/04/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by BooBabe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML

#19726729
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6330) - you deserved it (27055)

On 06/03/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Castilla y Leon)

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

#19646260
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34768) - you deserved it (4742)

On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)



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