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XxwhosawesoMExX

Offline (the 10/28/2014 at 2:02am) | Search for a member

XxwhosawesoMExX

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 987
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>ejrod31</b> - yesterday at 2:15am<b>BenjiX</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 1:06pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 1:11pm<b>jezombie</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 8:12pm<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 6:08pm

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XxwhosawesoMExX's favorite FMLs

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35338) - you deserved it (3723)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49844) - you deserved it (4168)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

#21191137
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38859) - you deserved it (7076)

On 06/28/2014 at 2:28am - health - by Madridsta - United States (California)

Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year old woman, to tears. FML

#21190580
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41698) - you deserved it (7465)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:57pm - kids - by keelah (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42959) - you deserved it (6130)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57474) - you deserved it (7985)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my husband decided that if he's not hungry, then I'm not allowed to make myself any food. FML

#21182292
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43007) - you deserved it (5192)

On 06/20/2014 at 7:53pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML

#21182241
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51045) - you deserved it (5909)

On 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm - health - by legitfile.bat.virus.exe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52394) - you deserved it (4607)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML

#21173596
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53126) - you deserved it (8965)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:53pm - animals - by sunil (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

#21171119
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40157) - you deserved it (4277)

On 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm - misc - by ldrik1 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51267) - you deserved it (11167)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, I clogged the only toilet at work. Thinking I could escape and blame someone else, I opened the door, only to see a line of people waiting outside. FML

#21168163
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43523) - you deserved it (15662)

On 06/09/2014 at 12:28pm - work - by deservedly - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a text message confessing that she's been cheating on me. Apparently she regretted telling me the truth, because when I confronted her face-to-face, she claimed her roommate had sent it as a prank. She doesn't have a roommate. FML

#21167164
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46888) - you deserved it (3927)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:01pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

#21166563
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43148) - you deserved it (6108)

On 06/07/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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