About Xx_Benny73_xX : driving a racecar has been a dream my whole life!
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Xx_Benny73_xX's favorite FMLs
by phlyingphuck / 07/19/2009 at 11:12am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, after not seeing my boyfriend for 9 months, he came to meet me at the airport. I was so excited when I first saw him that I broke into a sprint to greet him. Apparently, running through the airport looks suspicious, because a security guard tackled me. Now I have a broken nose. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2009 at 9:49am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML
by notawizard / 07/16/2009 at 6:16am / Spain (Catalonia) / Kids
by joking0303 / 07/16/2009 at 3:08am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/16/2009 at 1:32am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend watching a movie, my boyfriend then leans in and says: "You know, you're my favourite girlfriend." I then jokingly responded by saying: "You say that like I'm not the only girlfriend you have right now." I hate being right. FML
by dinapar / 07/14/2009 at 10:02am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
by pkstarstorm / 07/14/2009 at 2:58am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on a movie date. During the movie, I picked a small zit on my forehead. Afterwards, at dinner, he couldn't seem to keep his eyes off of my face. I thought he was staring lovingly at me. He was actually staring at a large throbbing zit with a trail of blood coming from it. FML
by Zitty / 07/12/2009 at 2:18pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one ripe. My husband yelled "she likes to eat beans." FML
by 1234 / 07/11/2009 at 12:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went with my sister to get our eyebrows waxed. I didn't think my eyebrows were that bad--and they weren't! When the guy waxed my eyebrows, he gestured my lips and said, "Moustache, too?" Mortified, I said, "No!" to which he replied, "Aw, someone no get kissy tonight." FML
by RR / 07/11/2009 at 1:58am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to my friend's house for the first time. As I was pulling up, I called him and asked him if I could use his bathroom. He told me to just go in the back and use it, so i did. As i'm sitting on the toilet, someone knocks on the door and asks me who I am. It wasn't my friend's house. FML
by whitewater_al / 07/10/2009 at 5:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom turned to me and said, "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML
by Anonymous / 07/08/2009 at 5:43pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by dumpedovergame / 07/06/2009 at 6:51am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to "become" a lesbian. I also learned that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML
by fd_uplife / 07/05/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by Cococautly / 07/04/2009 at 12:49am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, my boyfriend told me "don't worry, someday you'll be mature as well." By this, he meant that… Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I… Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her…