XxYasBerryxX

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Offline (the 03/15/2015 at 11:06pm)

XxYasBerryxX

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 January 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 692
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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XxYasBerryxX's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 3:54pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:59am<b>AnalAssassin1</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 8:29pm<b>jonathanedwards</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 6:11pm

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XxYasBerryxX's favorite FMLs

Today, my friends and I were talking about our celebrity lookalikes. We decided that my friends all had attractive celebrity lookalikes, including Scarlett Johansson and Hayden Panettiere. When it was my turn, they decided that my "celebrity" lookalike is the Pillsbury Doughboy. FML

by KD / 01/04/2015 at 4:53pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

by MedStudent90 / 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

by jay-frey96 / 11/02/2014 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that when someone is choking you don't do the "hymen maneuver", you do the "heimlich maneuver". I was corrected by my girlfriend's parents. FML

by FANZZY / 08/18/2014 at 12:29pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

by not a dick-man / 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

by anyonmus / 04/11/2013 at 8:59pm / United States (Maryland) / Animals

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

by Notaplacetogo / 02/17/2013 at 1:45am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while reading in the bath, I accidentally switched the shower on. Not wanting my book to get soaked, I threw it out of the tub. When I got out of the tub later, I found it had landed squarely in the toilet. FML

by stelssy / 01/26/2013 at 12:03am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML

by iNearlyHurled / 09/28/2012 at 4:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

by intheairtonight / 04/25/2012 at 2:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

by lifeonfire12 / 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, while walking to work, I swore I saw one of my old friends from college standing in the park across the street. I started shouting her name and waving my hands like a maniac to get her attention. It was a statue. FML

by Becca / 04/10/2012 at 11:49pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML

by Jeff make / 04/01/2012 at 10:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, in the middle of sex my boyfriend asked if he could use the bathroom. It would've been fine, if he didn't fall asleep on the toilet. FML

by Karen / 03/04/2012 at 9:00pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy