Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

XxToxicxX

Search for a member

XxToxicxX
  • Town/Country : Hudson, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 30 May 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 2053
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About XxToxicxX : My life is so awkward.

Hit me up on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/home.php?ref=home

XxToxicxX's last visitors

MetalFishBarbarossaIlovelife07alex4digiprodlittlehowlcan_i_SCR3AMIneffableturtle

XxToxicxX's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

XxToxicxX's favorite FMLs

Today, I met this really attractive guy who introduced himself as Wyan. He was really cool and sweet and we got along pretty well. Then someone informed me that his name is Ryan and that he has a speech impediment, AFTER I had been referring to him as Wyan for quite some time. FML

#150793
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43961) - you deserved it (12976)

On 02/27/2009 at 2:58am - love - by hellosaila (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I farted in my cubicle thinking no one would smell it. Two seconds later, everyone came to my cubicle to wish me a happy birthday. FML

#132176
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19021) - you deserved it (35240)

On 02/25/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by riappp (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

#126669
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (114755) - you deserved it (20783)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I drove to a party after getting my car back from the shop. A thunderstorm started as I made my way there and upon arriving, the power went out. The guests decided to watch the storm from the front windows when someone mentioned how funny it would be if a tree fell on my car. Seconds later, one did. FML

#111850
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57971) - you deserved it (2731)

On 02/23/2009 at 3:08am - misc - by Jessie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML

#102926
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15211) - you deserved it (52138)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:52am - animals - by El Boz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while changing my tampon in the stall of my high school's bathroom, I lost control of the plastic applicator. The blood-covered apparatus shot out like a rocket underneath the stall door. For a moment I thought no one noticed, then the screaming began. FML

#99894
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46297) - you deserved it (4882)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - misc - by isuckatlife (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to the sound of scissors. My mom was cutting my hair while I was asleep. FML

#66858
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54016) - you deserved it (4537)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by w_t_f (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I submitted my picture to a rating website. It was rejected because I didn't clarify which person I was. The picture was of my dog and me. FML

#50686
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44716) - you deserved it (6064)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:45am - animals - by Ugh - United States (California)

Today, on campus, these really overly-happy people walking around with big signs saying "free hugs". When I walked towards them, their smiles faded, and they put their signs down. FML

#38092
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42301) - you deserved it (3779)

On 02/13/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by shit's weak - United States (Indiana)

Today, campus security called to inform me that my car had been in an accident. I rushed down to the security office to find most of the officers laughing. A portable john blew over on to my car and smashed my rear window. Now, security calls me "Port-A-Potty Guy," and my car smells like shit. FML

#30969
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37898) - you deserved it (1749)

On 02/12/2009 at 12:19pm - misc - by Johnny on the Spot (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers. FML

#30362
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10649) - you deserved it (31907)

On 02/12/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by KWM (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

#23513
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10274) - you deserved it (23324)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by tylerlove361 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML

#18155
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35999) - you deserved it (2773)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by TGIkaty - United States (California)

Today, a girl entered the public washroom I was washing my hands in. When she saw me, she stopped dead in her tracks. I then saw her go to the door to make sure she was actually in the girl's washroom. FML

#18109
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31052) - you deserved it (3824)

On 02/09/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by a manly woman? (woman) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: