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XxReddragonxX

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XxReddragonxX

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XxReddragonxX's favorite FMLs

Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML

#20883379
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44591) - you deserved it (2316)

On 09/16/2013 at 1:35am - health - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML

#20883308
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52333) - you deserved it (4794)

On 09/16/2013 at 12:35am - health - by chestycough - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as I started my car, I heard the most horrific sounds coming from the engine. When I lifted the hood I realized I'd found my son's cat. FML

Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML

#20882967
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39938) - you deserved it (11351)

On 09/15/2013 at 9:21pm - misc - by BaMiTsAnYa (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

#20882660
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26722) - you deserved it (39113)

On 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my sister came out of her room sobbing uncontrollably. When I asked what was wrong, she put her fingers in my face and asked if they smelled like pickles, and if "that's normal for girls". They did. It's not. FML

#20880468
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42419) - you deserved it (3160)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:42am - health - by Carebeareatu (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was standing in line at the grocery store waiting for my husband. After a while, I feel him kissing my neck, so I turn to tell him that it's not appropriate in public. It wasn't my husband. FML

#20878205
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57676) - you deserved it (4106)

On 09/12/2013 at 10:44am - love - by whyme (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my two closest friends declared that they hated each other. They're my bridesmaids. The wedding is in three weeks. FML

#20878136
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42708) - you deserved it (3434)

On 09/12/2013 at 8:39am - misc - by SadFace (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my partner walked in the room wearing a sweater from my wardrobe, making jokes about it and saying how ugly it was. That sweater was the last thing my father wore before he passed away. FML

Today, one of my employees called in after his 8-hour shift, explaining that he had bed bugs at home, found one on his shirt, and thinks they are in the store. I own a mattress shop. They'd spread. FML

#20877588
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46391) - you deserved it (2545)

On 09/11/2013 at 9:12pm - work - by icanteven - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

#20877518
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22494) - you deserved it (67751)

On 09/11/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by lyfisdyno - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

#20874714
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41090) - you deserved it (11030)

On 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by heyhijello - United States (California)

Today, while at the zoo, I found out that the rhinos there can pee backwards, while standing directly behind one. FML

#20874616
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38158) - you deserved it (4049)

On 09/09/2013 at 4:51pm - animals - by Are you kidding me? - United States (Kansas)

Today, my pregnant wife was crying, so I let her sit on my lap so I could comfort her. She quickly started laughing in embarrassment as she peed on my leg. FML

#20874571
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53457) - you deserved it (6207)

On 09/09/2013 at 4:16pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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