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XxReddragonxX

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XxReddragonxX

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XxReddragonxX's favorite FMLs

Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML

#21070396
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44535) - you deserved it (4209)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:36pm - misc - by fuckmeitsgettingworse - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my mom told me all about how I was conceived in a Disney Land toilet. FML

#21070288
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41545) - you deserved it (3650)

On 02/24/2014 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Dudley)

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42896) - you deserved it (5446)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I was helping my wife bring in the groceries. She was able to carry 4 bags and a jug of milk. I was struggling with 2 bags. FML

#21069230
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33415) - you deserved it (19981)

On 02/23/2014 at 9:36am - misc - by weak - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was shopping, when a man pointed at me and said to his friend, "Her. She's the one." He replied, "Yes, she'll do fine." I'm scared. FML

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML

#21060563
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55032) - you deserved it (5252)

On 02/14/2014 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by accident (man) - United States (California)

Today, my live-in mother-in-law brazenly swiped most of the money from my wallet, then walked out of the room as if nothing had happened. The worst thing is that my wife believes anything she says, so I can't do a damn thing about it. FML

#21060189
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39420) - you deserved it (4065)

On 02/14/2014 at 12:11pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I aced my solo during my band concert. My parents were asleep the whole time. FML

Today, my wife tried to report our neighbor's yard sale to the Better Business Bureau. FML

#21057520
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38066) - you deserved it (4518)

On 02/11/2014 at 8:37pm - money - by dumbwifehappylife (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I discovered that when one of my toddlers throws up, the other sympathy-pukes too, and that this continues until they're both empty. I guess my car is going to stink of vomit for a while. FML

#21057222
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40417) - you deserved it (3240)

On 02/11/2014 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend's cat for staring at me, then cried about it for an hour. Pregnancy life. FML

#21056743
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43010) - you deserved it (9050)

On 02/10/2014 at 10:16pm - animals - by alii2349 - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, something ran across my foot while I was on the toilet. Hearing me scream, my husband ran in. We now have a new "pet" mouse named Jerry that I am not allowed to kill under threat of divorce. FML

Today, I was breast feeding my son. Out of nowhere, he bit my nipple hard, causing me to scream in pain. He giggled with my nipple still between his teeth. FML

Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML

#21054738
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52831) - you deserved it (6004)

On 02/08/2014 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by O_o - United States (California)

Today, and for the third time this week, I found a pubic hair in my soup. I'm currently bed-ridden and can't afford to piss off my boyfriend by complaining. FML

#21054632
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39699) - you deserved it (4835)

On 02/08/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by vey (woman) - China (Beijing)



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