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XxReddragonxX

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XxReddragonxX

0Fucked!

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XxReddragonxX's FML badges

Inception

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The Mixer

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XxReddragonxX's favorite FMLs

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84390) - you deserved it (20491)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML

#2713232
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15016) - you deserved it (86321)

On 06/08/2009 at 6:39am - intimacy - by baller (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML

#2695663
448 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26380) - you deserved it (56950)

On 06/07/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by Jebus (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

#2681681
371 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47076) - you deserved it (126173)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:02am - love - by dawg3360 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was working as a waitress at a wedding. I was trying to clear the tables as quickly as possible and decided to place a half bowl of soup on top of the pile of plates I was carrying. As I was hurrying back to the kitchen I tripped and spilt the soup all over the bride's ivory dress. FML

#2631583
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47304) - you deserved it (24125)

On 06/05/2009 at 1:57pm - work - by badwaitress (woman) - United Kingdom (Newport)

Today, I was buying an expensive pillow for my mother from a store clerk who wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. After paying, I saw an elderly lady who had dropped a bag, so I walked to help. I walked back to the clerk, who refused to believe I paid. The reason? He didn't recognize my face. FML

#2569005
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62334) - you deserved it (5049)

On 06/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by doubleds (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I put my 3 year old down for her regular nap. About an hour later I wake up from a dream where I was smelling something awful. When I woke up, the smell was still there, so I tracked it down. My daughter had decided to "fingerpaint" with the contents of a dirty diaper. FML

Today, there was a parents bike race on the track at my high school for a fundraiser. My dad entered, and ended up winning. He did his victory dance with a massive erection showing through his spandex. Just about all of my friends, teachers, other parents, and the hot soccer team saw. FML

#2501660
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60318) - you deserved it (3553)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by biker2012 (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got an invitation to my ex-boyfriend's wedding. We broke up because "he didn't believe in marriage." FML

#2501509
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74995) - you deserved it (4465)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I saw the following message on my Facebook News Feed: "Morning Sex: [My mom] and [My dad] are fans. Click here to Join" FML

#2498639
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78100) - you deserved it (5513)

On 06/01/2009 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by crazystuff23 (man) - United States (California)

Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year old man who came up and handed us "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML

#2463557
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44579) - you deserved it (5037)

On 05/31/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by ailat0107 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was watching Harry Potter. When all the students at Hogwarts started to clap at one point, I started clapping myself. FML

#2442795
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20618) - you deserved it (49538)

On 05/30/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by whoahshloann (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out my Cosmo magazine to entertain myself. The woman sitting across from me points and tells me I'm reading "Satan's Manual." I told her I don't believe in Satan. She said, "You'll know he's real when you become his bitch!" FML

#2442070
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52750) - you deserved it (7824)

On 05/30/2009 at 7:22pm - misc - by satanlovesme (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I turned 30 years old. My dad, the only living relative I have, gave me a call. Not to wish me a happy birthday, but to tell me about "a hot piece of ass" he nailed at the senior center last night. FML

#2429850
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54367) - you deserved it (2753)

On 05/30/2009 at 11:18am - misc - by willieboom (man) - United States (Washington)



Juliette Bubulle's illustrated FML

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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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