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XxReddragonxX

Offline (the 11/17/2014 at 3:56pm) | Search for a member

XxReddragonxX

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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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XxReddragonxX's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife of three years asked me to meet her for lunch at Subway. When I arrived, she was standing in the parking lot. She handed me a footlong sub, said "I got you a turkey sandwich" and followed it up with "And I'm leaving you." FML

#1727113
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87512) - you deserved it (4625)

On 05/07/2009 at 6:39pm - love - by Joey (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wife of three years asked me to meet her for lunch at Subway. When I arrived, she was standing in the parking lot. She handed me a footlong sub, said "I got you a turkey sandwich" and followed it up with "And I'm leaving you." FML

#1727113
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87512) - you deserved it (4625)

On 05/07/2009 at 6:39pm - love - by Joey (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML

#1693218
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71293) - you deserved it (4634)

On 05/06/2009 at 3:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was running late for work. To save time, I grabbed my belt on my way out the door and was putting it on in the elevator, which stopped at the next floor before I had put my belt all the way on. A hot girl stepped into the elevator, looked at my undone belt, screamed "Ew" and got off. FML

#1679798
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38548) - you deserved it (9599)

On 05/05/2009 at 10:40pm - misc - by soldier (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to donate blood for the first time. When they stuck the needle in my arm, I had a panic attack and begged that they take it out. The woman helping me told me she'd take it out in a moment and left. It was then that the Red Cross stole a pint of my blood while I had a panic attack. FML

#1674851
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46404) - you deserved it (16365)

On 05/05/2009 at 8:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

#1631197
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25793) - you deserved it (69933)

On 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML

#1600602
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124194) - you deserved it (6687)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had an ultrasound in fear of testicular cancer. I apparently signed papers allowing an intern to do it for practice. She was in her early 20s and smoking hot so as she was rubbing jelly on my testes I got an erection. FML

#1525413
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72776) - you deserved it (24840)

On 05/01/2009 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by erectioninfection (man) - United States

Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML

#1524498
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89607) - you deserved it (14010)

On 05/01/2009 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by chelle (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 5 years cheated on me. When confronted she told me, "I didn't get wet so it wasn't cheating." FML

#1518333
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80819) - you deserved it (4702)

On 05/01/2009 at 5:50am - intimacy - by amiadori (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter said "I love you mom", to me for the first time I can remember. She is 16 years old. She said it because I bought her first thong. FML

#1509670
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60556) - you deserved it (11182)

On 04/30/2009 at 10:50pm - kids - by mylove (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to get the Apple store, my Mac had been making a grinding noise from the fan. The guy put his ear to the keyboard and said there was a CD in the drive so I couldn't hear the grinding from the fan. He ejected the CD. It was porn. FML

#1493509
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14039) - you deserved it (92379)

On 04/30/2009 at 3:44pm - intimacy - by cait (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my serious boyfriend was talking about how he wants to get engaged and married. I was really happy until he said he's excited mainly for the tax benefits. FML

#1493451
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47803) - you deserved it (3846)

On 04/30/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)



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