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XxReddragonxX

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XxReddragonxX

0Fucked!

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XxReddragonxX's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up next to the girl I had drunk intercourse with last night. Before we got it on, I noticed a package of birth control pills on her nightstand. Because of this, I felt no need to use a condom, or pull out. When I woke up, I noticed those "pills" were actually a makeup case. FML

#6248749
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6303) - you deserved it (53873)

On 11/10/2009 at 8:52pm - intimacy - by prayforme (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up next to the girl I had drunk intercourse with last night. Before we got it on, I noticed a package of birth control pills on her nightstand. Because of this, I felt no need to use a condom, or pull out. When I woke up, I noticed those "pills" were actually a makeup case. FML

#6248749
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6303) - you deserved it (53873)

On 11/10/2009 at 8:52pm - intimacy - by prayforme (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got a new CD player for my car and an alarm installed for added security. After work, I saw my windows smashed, the CD player gone, the alarm wires cut, and a note that said, "Try again." FML

#6243414
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32388) - you deserved it (2268)

On 11/10/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that I didn't get a job because I failed the psychological analysis. It told me to answer each question and tell the truth. So I did. I ask my friend, who got the job, if she told the truth. She said no. Apparently you have to lie in order to get a job. Sorry for being honest. FML

#6235478
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27974) - you deserved it (7261)

On 11/09/2009 at 9:28pm - work - by samantha711 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, we got our results for our final grade English paper on which I worked my butt off on, and also which I let my best-friend copy off from. I received a E- and two detentions for plagiarism. My friend got a A minus. All she said was "oh well, at least you tried your best". FML

#6225217
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13266) - you deserved it (47634)

On 11/09/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by fuck_thisshit (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML

#6194907
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19524) - you deserved it (2073)

On 11/07/2009 at 11:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I dyed my hair blonde for my boyfriend, hoping it would help spice up our sex life. His response? It's still a few shades off from his favorite porn star. FML

#6193403
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21367) - you deserved it (4718)

On 11/07/2009 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Blondegirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I ran out of my usual hand lotion that I use for 'me time'. I instead decided to try and us my after shave lotion as a replacement. Apparently, my member doesn't agree with one of the ingredients, and has now swollen to the size of my fist. FML

#6160580
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6301) - you deserved it (28911)

On 11/04/2009 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Metime (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, as I stepped into the shower, I slipped and fell over the edge of the tub, pulling the shower curtain down with me. I called my roommate to help me up as I put on a towel over me. But before she could help me up, she grabbed her phone to take a picture. The picture became a mass text. FML

#6150429
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29100) - you deserved it (3402)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:40pm - misc - by xo007 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my girlfriend about a diamond necklace I bought her for her birthday, which she didn't seem to be wearing. She then told me she hocked it to pay for her inexpensive phone bill. I paid $1,500 for that necklace, she received $300 from the pawn shop. FML

#6132139
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38238) - you deserved it (4211)

On 11/03/2009 at 6:02am - money - by I_Lossed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was hanging out with my friends. My friend started talking about how unfair it is that women can use their breasts to get promotions. I told him that he has no place to talk, as he used his "d*ck" a few months ago with his female boss. His girlfriend of 3 years was sitting next to me. FML

#6122066
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8503) - you deserved it (28612)

On 11/02/2009 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by konichiwa (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was woken up from a phone call from my boss. He asked if I had been asleep. I told him I wasn't, that I was in my car on the way to work. Then my alarm went off. FML

#6068471
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7064) - you deserved it (37836)

On 10/30/2009 at 9:19am - misc - by Coach (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I met a close friend of my husband for the first time. She told me it was amazing that I agreed to be in an open marriage and asked if sex was weird knowing he'd slept with other women. No, the sex wasn't weird, because we're not in an open marriage. FML

#6067617
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29781) - you deserved it (2231)

On 10/30/2009 at 5:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I got a text from my boyfriend that said, "Last week was the most embarassing time of my life, we're over." He was of course referring to the seizure that I had due to my epilepsy at Olive Garden. FML

#6060291
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42680) - you deserved it (2465)

On 10/29/2009 at 7:44pm - love - by Allie (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was driving to work. I saw a cute boy in the car next to me. To try and look cool, I pretended I was talking on my cell phone. I got pulled over and got a ticket for using my cell phone while driving. FML

#6057828
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6160) - you deserved it (65136)

On 10/29/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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