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XxReddragonxX

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XxReddragonxX

0Fucked!

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XxReddragonxX's favorite FMLs

Today, the cops showed up at our door at 11 pm. Apparently, our neighbours thought I was being abused because they heard high-pitched screaming for 45 minutes straight. Little did they know our 6-month-old baby screams when she's happy. Loudly. FML

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend when we came across the most beautiful piece of Japanese furniture. When I inspected it closely, my boyfriend started laughing. Turns out I was making the same noise I make when I orgasm in reaction to a piece of furniture. FML

#21386402
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25349) - you deserved it (4149)

On 04/02/2015 at 8:20am - misc - by Repethetic (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

#21386342
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38593) - you deserved it (2087)

On 04/02/2015 at 2:43am - health - by usadisvet (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, at Walmart, I overheard a lady telling a teenage girl that the secret to keeping a guy for life is giving him anal, but that it's important to clean your "shitter" beforehand. I can't believe these kinds of sick freaks actually exist. FML

#21375051
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29339) - you deserved it (7880)

On 03/15/2015 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

#21372435
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26475) - you deserved it (7816)

On 03/11/2015 at 9:55am - kids - by birdisnottheword (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got pulled over during my driving test. FML

#21367600
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32622) - you deserved it (7074)

On 03/03/2015 at 9:35pm - misc - by notdrivinganytimesoon (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after 3 hours of sleep, I had to rush to my grandmother's house because she fell and couldn't get up. An embarrassed, half-naked old lady, a very wet rug, an ambulance and a trip to the hospital later, and she still refuses to use her cane and walker. I hope I'm not this stubborn when I'm old. FML

Today, I posted a photo on Facebook of me at a club with some friends. The first comment it got was "Just got a stiffy. 10/10." Thanks for that, dad. FML

#21351395
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29517) - you deserved it (3295)

On 02/07/2015 at 7:52am - misc - by gali-ma (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

#21350665
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29995) - you deserved it (5129)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by Milked Richard (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my professor cancelled class so I turned off my alarm. When I woke up, I checked my email again. There was no email from my professor. It was a dream. FML

#21350106
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39494) - you deserved it (5544)

On 02/05/2015 at 1:15am - misc - by DreamsDontComeTrue - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was talking to my friend in Spanish because he understands it better than English. We were in the middle of a discussion about a TV show when some guy from our school ran up, spat on my shoes and screamed, "I SPEAK SPANISH, STOP TALKING ABOUT ME!" and ran away. FML

Today, I saw my co-worker write about how awful Muslims were and how the religion is stupid, the hijab is oppressive, and how they're a poison on society. When I questioned them about it, they pretty much said that I didn't know anything and should stop talking. I'm Muslim and a hijabi. FML

#21349339
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32188) - you deserved it (5268)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:13pm - work - by coveredupforfun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

#21342800
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41867) - you deserved it (2520)

On 01/23/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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Friday 22 May 2015

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