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XxQuartersxX's FML badges
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
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XxQuartersxX's favorite FMLs
by Grandson / 11/07/2013 at 12:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by lbg2msf / 11/06/2013 at 1:08pm / United States (Mississippi) / Animals
Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML
by Champignon / 11/01/2013 at 10:17am / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Intimacy
Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 6:52pm / United States / Money
by spiritbeast33 / 09/11/2013 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went bra shopping with my mother. She insisted that I try on a bunch of push-up bras, and I told her I didn't want to, because it's false advertising. She looked at me and said that I need all the help I can get. FML
by historyfreak_17 / 06/17/2012 at 3:11am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Joe / 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/05/2011 at 8:05am / Reserved / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML
by Jessie / 12/25/2010 at 8:38am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was Rizzo in a production of Grease. I sang a line about needing a ring. I've been able to put up my left ring finger for every rehearsal, but today I put up the one next to it. I flipped off the audience. FML
by Anonymous / 12/08/2010 at 9:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, after going on a blind date with a man I had met on facebook, we decided to go back to his apartment. All was going good until he took off his pants, only to reveal that he was wearing a diaper. FML
by anonymous / 09/06/2010 at 3:37am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by WIno / 08/31/2010 at 10:46pm / United States (Alabama) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/29/2010 at 1:34pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, whilst celebrating my birthday with my friends and family, I met a girl at the bar who seemed interested. She became very disinterested and left after my mother whispered in her ear "If you go home with my son make sure he wears a condom." FML
by Joe / 10/19/2009 at 12:32am / Cambodia (Phnum Penh) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…