XxDancerGirlxX

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XxDancerGirlxX

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 January 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2195
  • Number of comments : 134
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About XxDancerGirlxX : I was born in a broken down camper on one cold, winter day in Ohio. Fortunately, I was adopted by a lesbian couple who own an onion farm in Kansas. My parents traded me for 3 chickens, a pack of Marlboro Lights and a donkey. They went on their merry way to join the circus, and I moved to Kansas with my moms.

XxDancerGirlxX's page activity

Visits<b>Riptide82102</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 11:52pm<b>T_Rev1017</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 1:58pm<b>michu</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 1:50pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 8:12pm<b>toastbrot</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 1:38am<b>angelxs</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 5:06pm<b>marmaries</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 8:05am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 7:05pm<b>IParkerBeasley</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 7:19pm<b>kerstileann</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 5:10pm<b>pondhop</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 12:33am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 4:31pm<b>pineapplefuck</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 9:48pm<b>olpally</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 1:55am<b>neeni88</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 4:59pm<b>VanillaButterfly</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 3:35am<b>Carpenter_C</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 11:28pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 7:09am

Fucked!<b>T_Rev1017</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 7:59pm

XxDancerGirlxX's FML badges

YDI master

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XxDancerGirlxX's favorite FMLs

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

by Elisa_LmR / 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up hungover and with $13 stuffed in my bra. I'm not a stripper, and I'm not sure how it got there, but that's the most money I've had on me in weeks. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2014 at 12:47pm / United States (Connecticut) / Money

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

by Anonomous / 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm / United States (Vermont) / Animals

Today, my grandma added to my elephant collection by giving me some underwear with elephant ears on the hips, and a long, sock-like nose. She has no idea they're meant for a guy. FML

by ElephantLover / 12/11/2013 at 3:14pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I dyed my hair. And my forehead. And my ears. And my arms. And my hands. FML

by MissDQ / 12/02/2013 at 8:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

by Grandson / 11/07/2013 at 12:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm / Zimbabwe / Health

Today, my wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I tried to get her to eat something light, for our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelled at me for being a "pervert" and accused me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2013 at 12:08pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my ex boyfriend got into a physical fight with the guy I've been casually seeing for 9 months. Afterwards, they had a beer, a long chat, and decided this was my fault and I wasn't worth the drama. FML

by what did I do? / 10/25/2013 at 7:54am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, during parent/teacher conferences, my mom told my Chemistry teacher that I have an intense crush on him. There are still 7 months left in the school year. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2013 at 10:04am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

by overly nationalistic redneck / 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was teaching my chickens to eat out of my hand, one of the hens bit my finger and I dropped the entire handful of treats. Result: bonanza for the bird. The rest decided they could get more treats by biting me rather than by behaving. I now have a flock of fingerbiters. FML

by Rapunzel1974 / 09/01/2013 at 12:29am / United States (Mississippi) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

by SplishSplash / 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my 50-year-old dad was in a foul mood after taking an online test that put him in Slytherin house instead of Ravenclaw where he "belongs" because he's "so smart". FML

by thanksad / 08/22/2013 at 9:38pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous