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Xquisite1

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Xquisite1
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1150
  • Number of comments : 190
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Xquisite1's favorite FMLs

Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly "you need to work on that". We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said "you need to work on not farting in your sleep". FML

#1222534
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18768) - you deserved it (75273)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was at a ballet recital with my friend, sitting between her and the mother of the head male ballerina. When he came on stage in obscenely tight white tights I whispered to my friend, "You can see his whole freaking package!" I'd whispered to the wrong side. FML

#1052920
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10450) - you deserved it (56658)

On 04/17/2009 at 11:19am - misc - by lalalohan (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was on my way home from work and decided to stop at the grocery store. I purchased $200 in groceries and went to put them in my car. I then realized I drove my motorcycle today. FML

#916470
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15437) - you deserved it (80051)

On 04/11/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was getting restless in my psychology class. I stretched out both of my arms and hands into the aisles on either side of me, only to find myself with my teacher's package in my palm. FML

#221639
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42914) - you deserved it (9377)

On 03/05/2009 at 9:29pm - misc - by dizzlewizzle - United States (New York)

Today, I slept over at a friend's house. We decided to dress up as ninjas and play a trick on her younger brothers, sleeping in the basement. While sneaking down the stairs, in the dark, her mother came home. Thinking I was a robber, she beat me with a lamp. FML

#158758
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18205) - you deserved it (34307)

On 02/28/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by RosaP (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received a really nice red satin set of underwear, with a bra, a thong and a corset... From my grandfather. FML

#725
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25718) - you deserved it (1701)

On 01/07/2009 at 6:43am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was jerking off in the train washroom when the ticket inspector knocked at the door. I was nearly done so I didn't open right away. I didn't think he would have the key…I found myself face to face with him and three other passengers. The worst being I didn't have a ticket. FML

#583
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6988) - you deserved it (58403)

On 12/24/2008 at 3:40am - intimacy - by lip - Sent from mobile version



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