Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Xquisite1

Online | Search for a member

Xquisite1

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2750
  • Number of comments : 224
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Xquisite1's page activity

Visits<b>Humanef</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 9:33pm<b>LuxEtTenebris</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 2:55am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 9:12pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 5:08pm<b>bigwell</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 11:03pm<b>Mansalad</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 10:13pm<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 5:29pm<b>M3DO</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 12:32am<b>Livin_Like_Larry</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 7:42pm<b>Miss_Blondie44</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 3:37pm<b>derangedplanet</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 8:14pm<b>xLeeLee</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 1:54am<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 1:26pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 11:46am<b>Garktok</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 9:52am<b>derpina72</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 1:24am<b>pancakebob15</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 10:39pm<b>8Dirty1</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 9:46pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 4:18pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 6:55am<b>hard_candy</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 5:40am<b>mirrriam</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 10:00am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 8:07pm<b>Desi_D123</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 5:54am<b>CCRider</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 2:48pm

Xquisite1's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of Xquisite1's badges

Xquisite1's favorite FMLs

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML

#5738232
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12586) - you deserved it (41217)

On 10/09/2009 at 11:05am - love - by TasedAndDazed (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my english teacher asked me why I didn't have my project completed. Thinking quick on my feet I told her it was because my grandmother had just passed away. Apparently they go to the same country club and have known each other for years. My teacher started crying and ran out of the room. FML

#5607225
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9165) - you deserved it (70779)

On 10/02/2009 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking whilst texting. I thought I was going in a straight line but I ended up walking right into an open phone booth. A woman was inside making a phone call. I lost my balance, pinning her up against the wall. She thought I was attacking her and clobbered me with the receiver. FML

#5504838
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9853) - you deserved it (49392)

On 09/27/2009 at 11:59am - misc - by absentmindedmoron (man) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

#4976961
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21365) - you deserved it (389145)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around with my wife, because next time - I'll kill you." I'm gay and haven't been with a woman since 1985. FML

#4810431
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65145) - you deserved it (6743)

On 08/25/2009 at 1:09pm - love - by Jeff (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I took a test as part of a job requirement. I took a sip from a bottle of juice, and the lady leading the test gave me a warning. I tried to explain that if I didn't, I would faint. She took the bottle and hid it. 15 minutes later I collapsed. She thought I was faking. I'm hypoglycemic. FML

#2797056
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85825) - you deserved it (4032)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:59am - health - by Casey - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was partnered with this really sexy guy for an audition. He says, "Am I really stuck with you? I can't even stand being seen with you in public!" I start cursing him out really loud, but then I realize that he's only reading the script. Everyone was staring, and he called me a crazy bitch. FML

#2445222
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13234) - you deserved it (68196)

On 05/30/2009 at 9:13pm - misc - by jazzyfizzle (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly "you need to work on that". We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said "you need to work on not farting in your sleep". FML

#1222534
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23430) - you deserved it (84582)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was at a ballet recital with my friend, sitting between her and the mother of the head male ballerina. When he came on stage in obscenely tight white tights I whispered to my friend, "You can see his whole freaking package!" I'd whispered to the wrong side. FML

#1052920
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13028) - you deserved it (62439)

On 04/17/2009 at 11:19am - misc - by lalalohan (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was on my way home from work and decided to stop at the grocery store. I purchased $200 in groceries and went to put them in my car. I then realized I drove my motorcycle today. FML

#916470
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18494) - you deserved it (86677)

On 04/11/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was getting restless in my psychology class. I stretched out both of my arms and hands into the aisles on either side of me, only to find myself with my teacher's package in my palm. FML

#221639
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51416) - you deserved it (11296)

On 03/05/2009 at 9:29pm - misc - by dizzlewizzle - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (256760) - you deserved it (34206)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I slept over at a friend's house. We decided to dress up as ninjas and play a trick on her younger brothers, sleeping in the basement. While sneaking down the stairs, in the dark, her mother came home. Thinking I was a robber, she beat me with a lamp. FML

#158758
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23149) - you deserved it (40820)

On 02/28/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by RosaP (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received a really nice red satin set of underwear, with a bra, a thong and a corset... From my grandfather. FML

#725
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31787) - you deserved it (2168)

On 01/07/2009 at 6:43am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was jerking off in the train washroom when the ticket inspector knocked at the door. I was nearly done so I didn't open right away. I didn't think he would have the key…I found myself face to face with him and three other passengers. The worst being I didn't have a ticket. FML

#583
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9861) - you deserved it (72081)

On 12/24/2008 at 3:40am - intimacy - by lip - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: