Xquisite1

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Xquisite1

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3217
  • Number of comments : 238
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Xquisite1's page activity

Visits<b>thunderniron</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 9:48pm<b>Mynxie</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 1:48am<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 10:53pm<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 12:25am<b>trashyant</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 11:22pm<b>somelildude</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 10:24pm<b>ifuckuprandomly</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 10:08am<b>MamaChey</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 4:04pm<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 1:59am<b>Nathan_Henry</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 7:00pm<b>thatkidzach666</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 1:34pm<b>swenny_xoxo</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 1:20pm<b>RnLaLa</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 12:23pm<b>pandor</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 9:13am<b>etePdyS</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 8:54am<b>naajster</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 5:02am<b>Allornone</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 4:56am<b>balboa_2</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 4:13am

Fucked!<b>pandor</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 3:13pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 4:18pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 6:55am<b>hard_candy</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 5:40am<b>mirrriam</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 10:00am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 8:07pm<b>Desi_D123</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 5:54am<b>CCRider</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 2:48pm

Xquisite1's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of Xquisite1's badges

Xquisite1's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom's "hobby" of rescuing homeless people became very real. We now have 3 more people living in our house, and none of them have a sense of personal space. I wake up to their faces in my windows. Thanks mom. FML

by Bribri / 11/18/2009 at 12:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML

by TasedAndDazed / 10/09/2009 at 11:05am / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, my english teacher asked me why I didn't have my project completed. Thinking quick on my feet I told her it was because my grandmother had just passed away. Apparently they go to the same country club and have known each other for years. My teacher started crying and ran out of the room. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I was walking whilst texting. I thought I was going in a straight line but I ended up walking right into an open phone booth. A woman was inside making a phone call. I lost my balance, pinning her up against the wall. She thought I was attacking her and clobbered me with the receiver. FML

by absentmindedmoron / 09/27/2009 at 11:59am / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

by Hairball / 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work

Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around with my wife, because next time - I'll kill you." I'm gay and haven't been with a woman since 1985. FML

by Jeff / 08/25/2009 at 1:09pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I took a test as part of a job requirement. I took a sip from a bottle of juice, and the lady leading the test gave me a warning. I tried to explain that if I didn't, I would faint. She took the bottle and hid it. 15 minutes later I collapsed. She thought I was faking. I'm hypoglycemic. FML

by Casey / 06/11/2009 at 8:59am / Health

Today, I was partnered with this really sexy guy for an audition. He says, "Am I really stuck with you? I can't even stand being seen with you in public!" I start cursing him out really loud, but then I realize that he's only reading the script. Everyone was staring, and he called me a crazy bitch. FML

by jazzyfizzle / 05/30/2009 at 9:13pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly "you need to work on that". We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said "you need to work on not farting in your sleep". FML

by Screwed / 04/22/2009 at 1:46pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a ballet recital with my friend, sitting between her and the mother of the head male ballerina. When he came on stage in obscenely tight white tights I whispered to my friend, "You can see his whole freaking package!" I'd whispered to the wrong side. FML

by lalalohan / 04/17/2009 at 11:19am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on my way home from work and decided to stop at the grocery store. I purchased $200 in groceries and went to put them in my car. I then realized I drove my motorcycle today. FML

by whoops / 04/11/2009 at 4:43pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, I was getting restless in my psychology class. I stretched out both of my arms and hands into the aisles on either side of me, only to find myself with my teacher's package in my palm. FML

by dizzlewizzle / 03/05/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

by Girl123999 / 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I slept over at a friend's house. We decided to dress up as ninjas and play a trick on her younger brothers, sleeping in the basement. While sneaking down the stairs, in the dark, her mother came home. Thinking I was a robber, she beat me with a lamp. FML

by RosaP / 02/28/2009 at 1:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a really nice red satin set of underwear, with a bra, a thong and a corset... From my grandfather. FML

by noname / 01/07/2009 at 6:43am / Miscellaneous