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Xquisite1

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Xquisite1

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1360
  • Number of comments : 192
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>mimi_ivana</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 4:39pm<b>JMichael</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 10:28pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 8:37pm<b>aimzskee</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 7:56am<b>umerin</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 8:29am<b>MrConcise</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 5:55pm<b>pugnamedwhiskey</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 10:19pm<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 11:11am<b>briang959</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 6:37am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 5:51am<b>Drake_The_Dragon</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 6:46pm<b>infected150</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 5:14pm<b>Furby94</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 10:42pm<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 3:35am<b>toypoodlelover</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 9:48pm<b>_i_am_batman_</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 4:51pm<b>a_wiener_d0g</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 7:20am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 8:32pm

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Xquisite1's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35597) - you deserved it (20834)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I discovered that my mom is having an affair... with her cousin. FML

#12322753
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53640) - you deserved it (3854)

On 08/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Drew - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that my mom is having an affair... with her cousin. FML

#12322753
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53640) - you deserved it (3854)

On 08/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Drew - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML

#9040804
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25832) - you deserved it (8838)

On 03/13/2010 at 4:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I was at the movie theatre. I went to the bathroom, and was about to wipe my butt when I realized that where the toilet-paper dispenser should have been, there was a large hole. The woman in the next stall waved. FML

#7309178
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26561) - you deserved it (4869)

On 01/12/2010 at 9:57pm - misc - by pass_the_tp (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford a Christmas present for him, or anyone. He said trying anal would be fine. FML

#6456555
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20839) - you deserved it (11050)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:31am - intimacy - by ehwat (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom's "hobby" of rescuing homeless people became very real. We now have 3 more people living in our house, and none of them have a sense of personal space. I wake up to their faces in my windows. Thanks mom. FML

#6350445
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30951) - you deserved it (2038)

On 11/18/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Bribri (man) - United States (California)

Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML

#5762381
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8086) - you deserved it (41603)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML

#5738232
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10641) - you deserved it (37403)

On 10/09/2009 at 11:05am - love - by TasedAndDazed (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my english teacher asked me why I didn't have my project completed. Thinking quick on my feet I told her it was because my grandmother had just passed away. Apparently they go to the same country club and have known each other for years. My teacher started crying and ran out of the room. FML

#5607225
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7702) - you deserved it (65097)

On 10/02/2009 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking whilst texting. I thought I was going in a straight line but I ended up walking right into an open phone booth. A woman was inside making a phone call. I lost my balance, pinning her up against the wall. She thought I was attacking her and clobbered me with the receiver. FML

#5504838
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8447) - you deserved it (45066)

On 09/27/2009 at 11:59am - misc - by absentmindedmoron (man) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

#4976961
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17407) - you deserved it (347765)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around with my wife, because next time - I'll kill you." I'm gay and haven't been with a woman since 1985. FML

#4810431
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60096) - you deserved it (6343)

On 08/25/2009 at 1:09pm - love - by Jeff (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I took a test as part of a job requirement. I took a sip from a bottle of juice, and the lady leading the test gave me a warning. I tried to explain that if I didn't, I would faint. She took the bottle and hid it. 15 minutes later I collapsed. She thought I was faking. I'm hypoglycemic. FML

#2797056
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79416) - you deserved it (3595)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:59am - health - by Casey - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was partnered with this really sexy guy for an audition. He says, "Am I really stuck with you? I can't even stand being seen with you in public!" I start cursing him out really loud, but then I realize that he's only reading the script. Everyone was staring, and he called me a crazy bitch. FML

#2445222
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11244) - you deserved it (63156)

On 05/30/2009 at 9:13pm - misc - by jazzyfizzle (woman) - United States (New York)



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